How Do You Get Started With Pegging?

Pegging requires some technique and skill-building for both givers and receivers. 

• Start with anal training. Receivers/peggees will benefit from anal training to gently get the anus used to penetration. Butt plugs and anal dilators are great tools for this. Anal pain shouldn’t be a part of pegging. Learning anal play techniques will minimize discomfort and potential for injury, while also increasing pleasurable sensations. 

• Hygiene options. Enemas aren’t necessary for anal sex. You can clean the outside of the anus during your shower after your last bowel movement. For a more robust cleaning, use an enema bulb with warm water only. Prepare the pegging area with dark towels or a sex blanket to protect your sheets from potential mess, lube stains, and toys fresh from the butt. 

• Don’t skip the warm-up. Do sexy things you like, feel confident in, and know turns you on before jumping into pegging. More arousal in the body means more relaxation and more potential for pleasure. Givers can benefit from spending non-sexual time in their harness too. To get used to what it feels like, try some air thrusting!

Pegging Positions. We see a lot of doggy-style pegging in porn. While it’s sexy to look at, for the receiver, holding that position may create more tension in the body. Doggy-style can also be a challenge with height differences. Try these beginner positions instead:

• Peggee on top. Squatting over the dildo and being in charge of the speed and depth of penetration can build confidence with pegging (plus it’s a sexy visual for the giver).

• Peggee on their stomach. This position is great for maximum skin contact and can be done with legs closed or open. Prop a pillow underneath the pelvis to give a better angle for penetration.

• Pegging missionary. Prop a pillow under the lower back of the receiver. This is a great position for maintaining eye contact and for both people to enjoy a sexy visual. 

• Communication during pegging. Set simple expectations for your first time – you might not be able to achieve penetration, but you can still play with other aspects of the pegging fantasy like gender, roleplay, or power. Make sure the peggee sets the pace – only go as fast as their body is ready for. Communicate with simple questions or words like, harder, softer, faster, slower. Consider using safewords for communication during pegging sessions. The traffic light system of red (stop), yellow (go easy), and green (I like that) is ideal for continuously gauging the intensity of pegging. 

• Aftercare is important. Aftercare for pegging might include things like debriefing about the experience, having sensual or other types of sex, getting rehydrated, cuddling, or showering together. Pegging aftercare can also include tending to sore areas – buttholes might benefit from things like CBD creams or warm compresses. Some may experience pelvic pain on the mons pubis from the impact of thrusting. 

• Pegging can take practice. If you don’t have the most orgasmic pegging experience right away, don’t worry. It can take practice to get a handle on the equipment, moves, and mood. Pleasure from pegging might look different than pleasure from penises, which may take getting accustomed to. For example, pegging might feel amazing but also foreign because an erection might not be present.

Pegging sex is a skill. You’re learning to connect to the equipment, your partner’s experience, and your sexual confidence. This takes time, practice, and empathy for yourself as you learn. Having the tools, communication, and know-how to cultivate the kind of pleasure you want is empowering!