To Pee or Not to Pee? A Beginner’s Guide to Golden Showers

By Luna Matatas

When you hear the phrase “pee fetish” or “golden shower” what do you feel? Excitement? Curiosity? Disgust? All of the above? 

Even though the eroticization of urine is considered taboo, pee still piques a surprising amount of interest. This summer, Netflix even took piss play mainstream (pun intended). In the HGTV-meets-BDSM show “How to Build a Sex Room” a polyamorous family requested a drain be installed in their floor for quick and easy golden shower fun.

I recently asked my Instagram audience, “If your partner was into pee play would you be open to it?” 31% responded yes, 25% said maybe, and 44% said no. Even for an informal social media poll, that’s a significant percentage. It looks like you may have more fluid-friendly neighbors than you think! 

Pee-Play-Poll

What is Pee Fetish? 

Having a pee fetish means that urine in erotic contexts arouses you. It doesn’t mean you get turned on every time you go to the bathroom. English doctor Havelock Ellis studied early 20th-century human sexuality and was one of the first to talk about pee fetishes (including his own that he traced back to watching his mother pee). 

Ellis called it urolagnia. It’s now more commonly referred to as urophilia, watersports, or piss play. Pee fetishes can be broad or very specific. In Japan, Omorashi is a pee fetish subculture that focuses on arousal from needing to urinate badly. Sometimes referred to as ‘bladder desperation’ or ‘piss desperation,’ it typically involves enjoying the fear of wetting oneself or watching someone else wet themselves. Group pee play is another subculture – hundreds of gay men attend an annual piss play resort party in Palm Springs. 

 

Why are people aroused by pee?

Pee fetishists have a very strong arousal to urine, while other people get off on their partner’s pleasure which happens to include pee fantasies. Some enjoy exploring erotically or using piss kink as part of dominance and submission. Pee play in mainstream porn usually depicts humiliation themes, but it can also be sensually arousing and intimate. Here are some other reasons people get turned on by pee play: 

  • The warm sensation of fluid on you or someone else
  • Receiving a ‘gift’ of your partner’s body fluid in or on you
  • Fantasies of human toilets, service receptacles
  • Creating an erotic ritual with urine
  • The taste of urine
  • Watching someone pee or being watched
  • Controlling bathroom time or being controlled
  • Having sex with a full bladder
  • Wetting yourself or watching someone wet themselves
  • Group pissing
  • Wet and messy sex
  • Roleplays where pee play could be part of it (e.g. puppy or piggy play)
  • Submission and dominance
  • Humiliation or degradation
  • Diaper play
  • Being ‘marked’ or ‘claimed’ by someone’s pee 
  • Taboo feelings about bathroom acts

5 Questions to Help You Flesh Out Your Fluid Fantasies

1. Is piss play safe? 

Urine is approximately 95% water. Additionally, people who are planning to engage in piss play usually up their water intake too. Contrary to popular belief, urine is not sterile. It can contain bacteria if infections are present, like urinary tract infections (UTIs) and sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea. If someone is on medications, these can also be present in the urine and passed on. 

Talk to your partner about potential risks and consider what you’re doing with pee when assessing risk – are you drinking it? Wearing it? Sitting in it? Watching it? In general, your risk of infection may be comparable or less to other types of fluid exchange, like semen or vaginal fluids. HIV is not transmissible through urine.

 

2. What if I feel shame about my pee fetish? 

Unfortunately, when you have a desire that is outside of what society considers ‘normal’, it’s easy to experience shame about it. Many people experience shame about sex from parents, partners, and society. 

Shame is part of the turn-on for some pee fetishists. Their fantasies are closely tied to eroticizing feelings of humiliation, naughtiness, and embarrassment. If you want to navigate through shame, some fantasies create a safe space to explore something that doesn’t feel safe to acknowledge anywhere else. Talking about your fantasy and any shame with a trusted partner or professional sex worker can open up opportunities for empathy and guided exploration. 

3. Won’t pee taste and smell terrible? 

Some people enjoy the sensory experience of pee play – including the taste, color, and smell. Strong-tasting urine can be part of a fantasy of discomfort or being in service, or it could be a sign of worship and honor. What might be ‘offensive’ in smell or color to one person might intensify the experience for another. 

You can try to alter the taste, color, and smell of your urine depending on your diet and fluid intake. You can find lots of advice on what to eat or drink, for example, drinking pineapple juice, beer, coffee, water, etc. You’ll have to experience how much you need to eat of something and how long it takes to be processed into your urine. The more hydrated you are with diuretic fluids, the milder your pee will be. 

4. What if I can’t pee in front of someone else? 

Pee shyness is a real thing. You may be super excited about watersports but seize up anytime the moment comes for you to pee on or in front of your partner. It’s harder to pee when penises and vulvas are in an aroused state. Try these tips:

  • Closing your eyes
  • Relaxing your pelvic floor
  • Breathing deeply and exhaling into your urethra
  • Waiting a few mins for arousal to go down a little

 

5. How do I talk to my partner about my pee fantasy? 

It can be intimidating to bring up a fetish to a partner. You might worry about being judged or the impact on the relationship. It’s ok to let them know you’re nervous. Try these tips:

  • Talk about it during a non-sexy, but intimate time.
  • Ask them if they’d like to hear a fantasy you have, without obligation.
  • Focus on sharing what turns on you about the fantasy. Talk about how it makes you feel, and describe anything sensory in the fantasy. 
  • Invite your partner to talk about how they feel and ask any questions. They might need some time to do research on their own – send them my Pee Play 101 on-demand webinar!
  • If you enjoy watching porn together suggest adding some water sports content to your rotation. The pee category on Clips4Sale has golden shower, omarashi, and wide variety of related piss fetish clips (NSFW link).  
  • Keep communication open and if you start, start slow and keep checking in.

Maybe your partner is into it and you’re not for whatever reason, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to or out of obligation. If you can’t find a connection point in the pee play fantasy, keep talking about desires and fantasies together to see what hot things you can co-create together. 

 

Plan your Pee Play Scene

Pee play can be your whole night, it can support other sexy activities, or it can stand on its own when you’re in the mood for it. If you’re just getting started, the shower is a great place to start out with water sports. Begin by doing other sexy things you like, and then explore peeing while together under the water. 

Have a specific fantasy? Want to dominate your partner or worship their golden nectar? Flesh out your fantasy so you can take it confidently into reality. Plan out a scene based on both your pee desires. Talk about what activities you want to do, discuss a safety communication system, prep your room for mess, and start off getting each other excited in familiar ways. 

Fluids are a part of many people’s sexual experiences. Pee play, like any fantasy, is about understanding the risks, communicating with your partner, and understanding what everyone needs to participate consensually. Our mind is a huge resource of erotic pleasure. Things that may not be sexy in a non-erotic context, can feel incredibly sexy when integrated into a sexy situation.

Luna-Pee-Play

“Author, Luna Matatas”

"What might be ‘offensive’ in smell or color to one person might intensify the experience for another."

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Luna Matatas is a Sex and Pleasure Educator with over 15 years of experience teaching sex and empowerment workshops. She celebrates body confidence, self-adoration, and building shame-free pleasure in and out of the bedroom. She teaches over 30+ webinars. Read all her BDSM Blogs and classes on Kink Skills, Threesomes, and Sexual Confidence. Luna hosts The Plug Podcast by b-Vibe, an anal sex podcast. She created Peg The Patriarchy® and Meditate Medicate Masturbate® brands as part of her sex-positive and feminist merchandise.

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