94 Non-Binary BDSM Names for Doms & Subs

By Sunny Megatron

For many kinksters, BDSM names and titles are a significant part of our identity and D/s dynamics. Also known as an honorific, the most frequently used are heavily gendered – Sir, Mistress, boy, Daddy, Mommy, good girl, Master, Domme, princess, etc.   

It’s important to remember that kink is customizable and titles are never required. You’re allowed to identify however you want and use whatever name suits you – including not using a special BDSM pet name or title at all. 

For those who choose to use honorifics, there aren’t many obvious options for folx whose gender falls outside the binary or who don’t jibe with traditional BDSM titles.

In the world of kink, genderfuckery is encouraged. That leaves a little wiggle room for some of us to break what feels like unspoken honorific rules. In my case, as a hard femme D-type, having my s-types call me “Sir” or “Daddy” makes me feel subversive, powerful, and euphoric. As a general identity, I’m a Dom, not a Domme. My workaround, however, isn’t a good fit for everyone, including many genderqueer people. The visceral connection those terms have to default-world gender roles can feel invalidating, demoralizing, or trigger dysphoria – akin to being repeatedly misgendered during our most vulnerable, intimate moments. 

The point of kink, BDSM, and fetish play is to tap into an existence where we no longer have to tolerate what doesn’t fit. We get to custom-craft our own identity, relationship protocols, sex life, and temporary reality in whatever way makes us feel good (including when asking partners to consensually & thoughtfully make us feel bad is what ultimately makes us feel good). 

Plenty of people make up their own genderless BDSM honorifics and titles. Sometimes we use pet names that have personal significance. Other times, we’re just … STUCK – honorificless with zero inspiration or representation that transcends beyond the binary. We hear terms like Sir, Mam, baby girl, or house boy, on a continuous loop. It’s difficult to come up with alternatives when you don’t have many examples to draw from. 

Below is my list of non-binary BDSM honorifics for you to take from or use as inspiration when crafting your own. Additionally, this list of general gender-neutral & queer titles, this Nonbinary Wiki page, or Sinclair Sexmith’s Sugarbutch Nonbinary Honorific Terms for a Dominant might come in handy too.  

Which non-binary BDSM titles and honorifics are your favorites? Let us know on Twitter!

Non-Binary BDSM Names & Honorifics

Alpha

Animal

Baba

Baby 

Bear

Bear

Beast

Beautiful

Beloved

Bitch 

Boss

Brat

Captain 

Chief

Coach

Commander

Comrade

Consul

Creature

Darling

Demon

Devil

Divine

Doctor

Doll

Dommy (Dad + Mommy)

Drone

Exalted

Fiend

Flame

Goddex (God + Goddess)

Gorgeous

Handsome

Instructor

Keeper

Leader

Liege

Little One

Lover

Maestro

Marionette

Mastress (Master + Mistress)

Minion

Monster

Mx.

My Angel

My Darling

My Dear

My Esteemed

My Everything

My Heart

My Life

My Light

My Love

My Moon

My Only

My Pet

My Precious 

My Stars

My Sun

My World

Owner

Pet

Pig

Pincushion

Plaything

Princex (POC Exclusive)

Professor

Property

Protector

Provider

Puppet

Puppy/Pup

Reverend

Rogue

Sergeant

Servant

Slut 

Sugar

Supreme Leader

Sweetness

Teacher

Toy

Trainer 

Treasure

Whore

Wolf

Wretch

Your Excellency

Your Grace

Your Highness

Your Honor

Your Majesty

Your Worship

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Sunny-Megatron

Sunny Megatron

Sunny Megatron is an award-winning BDSM & Certified Sexuality Educator, Certified Relationship Coach, and media personality. She’s the host and executive producer of the Showtime original television series, SEX with Sunny Megatron, plus co-hosts AASECT Award winning American Sex Podcast and Open Deeply Podcast. Sunny was also named XBIZ Sexpert of the Year 2021 and is Editor-in-Chief of Zipper Magazine.   

Known for her one-of-a-kind build-your-own-adventure approach to sex, kink & relationships, Sunny coined the BDSM community catch-phrase, Kink is Customizable™. In her sell-out workshops, her unique brand of “edutainment” seamlessly combines her humorous lecturing style, interactive exercises, and the latest sexuality research. Sunny’s passion is helping others overcome shame and find power through play and pleasure. Currently, she’s working on her first book, “Customizable Kink: A Strategic Guide to Adult Play.” 

You can find Sunny Megatron on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Patreon

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