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KinkTok: Watts The Safeword Reacts to Kinky TikToks

Featuring Pup Amp and Mr. Kristofer from Watts The Safeword 

We’ve teamed up with Watts The Safeword once again. Pup Amp and Mr. Kristofer take us on a journey to the kinky side of TikTok known as KinkTok. They react to funny and educational videos featuring Margaret Cho, Mollena Williams Haas, Kinky History’s Esmé Louise James, Phrygian Monk, Sunny Megatron, and more.

Video Transcript:

Pup Amp: Are you ready?

Mr. Kristofer: Are you ready?

Pup Amp: Oh, am I!

Mr. Kristofer: Are you?

Pup Amp: That’s what I asked: Am I?

Mr. Kristofer: Tick Toc, tic tock.

Pup Amp: Roll the opening.  And welcome back to….

Kristofer and Pup Amp: Hello!

Mr. Kristofer Watt’s the Safeword.

Pup Amp:  I’m Amp.

Mr. Kristofer: I’m Mr. Kristofer.

Pup Amp: Today, TikTok is not just for thirst traps and weird lip syncing and dances.  Give me your best TikTok dance.

Mr. Kristofer: Good?

Pup Amp: Okay. Less gyrating. We don’t want to get age restricted.  We’re gonna react to some KinkTok today.

Mr. Kristofer: KinkTok is kinky TikTok.

Pup Amp: And, we are working with a special sponsor today who actually brought us a huge list of KinkToks — Zipper Magazine.

Mr. Kristofer: Let’s go.

Sam_Sc00t: Could I perhaps interest you in some gay? Excellent! Come along now. Don’t be shy.

Mr. Kristofer:  Was that it?

Pup Amp: Yeah. Did you not enjoy that?

Mr. Kristofer: Who are they supposed to be?

Pup Amp: Hello, there! Hello, there!

Obi Wan Kenobi Clip: Hello, there.

Mr. Kristofer: Misspelled gay though.

Pup Amp: Good astute recognition of certain things that are homophobic policies on this platform.

Sunny Megatron: Hey, Picolas Cage! You want to hear some kinky dad jokes?

Picholas Cage: Why yes, I do.

Sunny Megatron: You know the Jolly Green Giant, right? Like “Ho, Ho, Ho, Green Giant!”

Picholas Cage: We’re good friends. I’m a pickle.

Sunny Megatron: Turns out, he’s kinky. In fact he is the sub in a D/s relationship. He’s a collared green.

Mr. Kristofer & Pup Amp: [Laughing]

Sunny Megatron: Oh, wait. You’ll love this. What do you call a potato that’s into pain play?

Picholas Cage: No idea. What? Tell me.

Sunny Megatron: A mash-o-chist. 

Picholas Cage: Oh, my goodness. Ha, ha. You’re just too much.  

Sunny Megatron: You really think so, Picholas Cage? I’d love to end up on one of those “What’s the Safe Word?” TikTok review videos, especially one where they talk about Zipper Magazine. You know, the digital kink magazine? That I just so happen to be the editor-in-chief of?

Pup Amp: This is Sunny Megatron.

Mr. Kristofer: Wow… That was a plug.

Pup Amp: That was Sunny, breaking the fifth wall.

Mr. Kristofer: Okay, for one, the first joke got a snort out of me. That means it was funny. Collard greens — I’m gonna have to remember that one. That’s a good dad joke. 

Pup Amp: And it’s a perfect call to action to where we’ve gotten a good chunk of these TikToks. Today, Zipper Magazine, who is someone that we are working with and collaborating with very closely to make sure that… we don’t only educate the kink community, but we do comedy, we do information we make sure that people are aware of what’s going on. And it’s a brand new site that you can check out in the description down below.

Mr. Kristofer: Perfect.

Pup Amp: Yeah, I will link them I will link you to that the article that a lot of these TikToks are actually from.  It was a good slew of fun. Funny, silly but also informational. As you’ll see, as we go through this.

Mr. Kristofer: I still like collared green. 

Pup Amp: Well done Sunny.  And again, Sunny is a lovely educator as well, who helps not only manage Zipper, but just a wonderful educator. So go check them out. Again, we’ll link all the people down in the description. Next TikTok.  It’s a question that says you have to start as a submissive only then can you become a dominant? Okay, let’s see what they say.

Phrygian Monk: This particular one is oftentimes pushed by people within the kink community….

Pup Amp: At times?

Phrygian Monk: …in order to become an effective dominant, you have to go through the submissive experience. You know, you have to feel what they feel, experience what they experience…

Mr. Kristofer: Certainly helps.

Phrygian Monk: …but the truth of the matter is while this might work for some people, it is not an across-the-board thing. For those coming into the lifestyle as Dominants, just because they don’t go through the submissive experience doesn’t make them any less empathetic or good or caring as Doms

Pup Amp: Sure.

Mr. Kristofer: So I agree…

Pup Amp: Here’s the but.

Mr. Kristofer: But what was funny?

Pup Amp: Sometimes it’s not funny, it’s educational…

Mr. Kristofer: Oh, okay…..

Pup Amp:  …there will be funny things in here again…

Mr. Kristofer: So it’s not like our stuff educational and funny.

Pup Amp: They spell “submissive” with….

Mr. Kristofer: Dollar signs.

Pup Amp: Dollar signs 

Mr. Kristofer: So this submissive has to pay you

Pup Amp: I liked the point that was made, which is you don’t have to be a submissive to be a DOM. But I will say I think it really really helps. I have to be? No — but I think it’s a little bit more fulfilling for me.

David Andrew Libby: I stared at this for a solid 10 minutes before I realized that it’s supposed to say “artisanal.”

Mr. Kristofer: Art. Is. An… Art is an… ale?,

David Andrew Libby: Artisanal?

Pup Amp: Artisanal. Art eez an al.

David Andrew Libby: Take some graphic design classes. 

Mr. Kristofer: Oh. That is bad.

Margaret Cho: I was in a toxic relationship for far too long because um… he had a printer. So I bought a printer.

Mr. Kristofer: How… how badly would you need a printer? Was she writing scripts? When’s the last time you….

Pup Amp: Someone that’s in a relationship with someone who has a printer. Mess up a lot of things.

Mr. Kristofer: I have never stayed with someone for a long time.

Pup Amp: Hey. Printing — printing was a very cool hip technology, okay? Hopefully, at least the letterhead was good.

Mr. Kristofer: And switch to mimeographs.

Pup Amp: Next.

Mollena Williams Haas: When I first came into the scene, there was all this — “Submission is a gift! Submission is a gift!” rolling through as in, you know, my submission is a gift. And I understand that the point of this was in order to elevate submission to something precious.

Pup Amp: I usually agree with that.

Mollena Williams Haas: Here’s my issue with it. A gift is something that is given unconditionally with no expectation of reciprocity.  At least, a good gift is, correct? If your submission is a gift, something you’ve given away with no expectation of anything in return, guess what’s going to happen, mother[MEOW]? Burnout! Call your submission many things. But please reconsider if you are one of these “submission is a gift” people because you should sure as F[MEOW] be getting plenty in return.

Pup Amp: Oh, I see where she’s going…

Mr. Kristofer: Actually, I agree with that. I’ve never thought of it that way.

Pup Amp: I like…  No, honestly, because I’ve referred to that before.  But when you think about it that way, that she kind of flipped it on its head and then you know, gave it some love. So what are you gonna call your submission now? Complicated balance of reciprocity?

 Mr. Kristofer: And I’ve said that before: “Submission is a gift.” No. $25

Pup Amp: Oh. Okay.

Mr. Kristofer: I’m just gonna charge for it, now.

Pup Amp: Okay.  When you fall asleep watching Animal Planet,

 Mr. Kristofer: Beautiful. Oh my god.

 Animal Planet Announcer: The giant horse cock weighs over 11 pounds.

 Nicklas Stoubæk: [Waking up on couch] What the [MEOW]?

 Buck Harder: Hi, yeah, we have a code SPANK. We need to talk to the Council of Elders. People are saying that old guard doesn’t exist. Uh-Huh. 

Pup Amp: There is no Council of Elders.

Buck Harder: What do you … what do you mean there’s no Old Guard? What do you mean this isn’t a phone?  

 Pup Amp: “The only thing that should be universal as a person of leather is the desire and drive to live authentically.” Yeah!

 Mr. Kristofer: Okay. I know Buck Harder. Amazing bootblack in Palm Springs. I’ve never seen this. How have I never seen this?

 Pup Amp: Are you following them on TikTok?

 Mr. Kristofer: No!

 Pup Amp: Oh, well there’s a problem!

 Mr. Kristofer: But that was very funny, very, very funny and very true.

 Pup Amp: A way to give information but be silly. And also what was he holding? Is that an electro box?

 Esmé Louise James: Kinky facts from history that you didn’t know! Spanking became so popular during the 17th to 18th century that it widely became known as “The English Vice.”

Pup Amp: Oh! Okay. 

Esmé Louise James: Brothels all over the country would offer this service and it was enjoyed by the likes of King George the Fourth. Before twerking, there was the 17th-century dance craze of “moulding the cocklebread.” Very similar in style, this wanton sport involved young wenches exposing their rump and pretending to knead dough with their backside.

Mr. Kristofer: Like cake-sitting.

Pup Amp: Like kneading the dough but bouncing on their butt? See I think that might get us demonetized. Yeah, it’s like twerking. 

Mr. Kristofer:  I prefer mine.

Kim of the Internet: Are you still using “pineapple” for your safeword? Well, let me put you onto my favorite, which is actually a system called a traffic light. So it’s super simple. It’s just red, yellow, green. Let’s get into it. So green means all systems go keep going. I find that it’s rarely used, but still nice to have defined. Yellow means pause or slow down and check in.  Maybe you haven’t reached your limit yet, but you need a breather. Red means full stop. If red is called I essentially eject us from the scene and go straight into aftercare. For me that should very, very rarely be called. I feel like it’s my job as a dominant to figure out when and if someone’s beginning to feel uncomfortable by reading them either verbally or physically.

 Pup Amp: Ohhhh…..!  I like that. It’s another lovely educator that was on the Zipper list. And have you ever used the traffic light system?

 Mr. Kristofer: I… like she said, I rarely use green, but yellow and red is helpful. Yellow is really good with impact play as well, because especially people experiencing it for the first time, they can slow you down if the hits are getting too painful for them to enjoy.

Pup Amp: Yeah, it’s a different way that people can use safe words. And while some people prefer the one word to stop something because they kind of know their body well, I think that this different kind of communication and different levels system is really useful for some people just getting into something maybe new or just experiencing kink on their own terms.  That was a good one.

 Mr. Kristofer: Nice.

Pup Amp: It was a good one.

 Mr. Kristofer: I like that Zipper’s putting out this really good, useful information.

Pup Amp: Yeah. Speaking of useful information, she’s back at it again.

 Mr. Kristofer: All right.

 Pup Amp: “I don’t use safewords. I don’t think they’re necessary.”

 Mr. Kristofer: Is this a musical I don’t know?

 Pup Amp: “I chimed in with a, ‘Haven’t you people ever heard of….'” Panic! at the Disco? Have you never heard of Panic! at the Disco? 

 Mr. Kristofer: No…..

 Pup Amp: No! Red! Red! Red! Red! Red! Daddy!

 Mr. Kristofer: Is it a cartoon? What is it?

 Pup Amp: God…. I’m glad that’s the last TikTok because whether you know who Panic! at the Disco is or not, always have a safe word. Today’s safeword is….

 Mr. Kristofer: “Don’t panic!”

 Pup Amp: “Whaaat?” That would be a terrible safe word.

 Mr. Kristofer: I don’t know if that’s funny or not because I don’t know what it’s referencing.

 Pup Amp: Oh, it’s funny. It’s always funny.  “Whaaat?”

 Mr. Kristofer: Okay.

 Pup Amp: You don’t understand the references?

 Mr. Kristofer: Don’t panic!

 Pup Amp: Panic!

 Mr. Kristofer: Not in front of my salad.

 Pup Amp: So again: thank you guys all for joining us, for recommending some of these TikToks, and checking out today’s sponsor and collaborator, Zipper Magazine down below as well. And let us know if you want to see more TikToks.  Leave a comment down below if you enjoyed this video you want to see more kinky, queer, or LGBTQ-inclusive TikToks. See y’all next time. Bye.  “Ten well-endowed men from history.”

 Mr. Kristofer: I’m in.  King Charles 2.

 Pup Amp: Oh!

 Mr. Kristofer: I’m not sure which one that was.

 Pup Amp: Wait! Did you just say “Kings Charles 2”?

 Mr. Kristofer: Yeah.

 Pup Amp: As if it’s a sequel?  The Second. The second Charles.

 Mr. Kristofer: I clarified I don’t know exactly which one that was.

 Pup Amp: It was the second.

 Mr. Kristofer: Well, clearly. I don’t know what they look like.

 Pup Amp: King Charles 2: Electric Boogaloo

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