Emily Adaire: Yeah, it’s totally cool to laugh during sex and just have fun and be a bit dorky sometimes.
Hey, my name is Emily Adaire. Yeah, I’m here for Zipper Magazine today, I’m really excited.
I think one misconception about kink and BDSM that really needs to die is the thought that either you have a kink or you don’t — like the way you’re born with the kink, or whatever. Or it’s this Freudian thing, that is something from our childhood. There are so many things that I didn’t discover until recently. And sometimes just by trying it out with a partner who really enjoys it, you get into it too by seeing how much pleasure it gives them. And I think that’s really important that your kinks aren’t something that’s set in stone.
What I would say to someone who thinks that their fantasies are weird, or who are ashamed about them, is that there will always be someone somewhere that into the same kinks as you are. And that you just should look for them and try to connect and exchange experiences. And maybe you can try it out together.
Three words to describe my sexuality are probably curious and versatile and situational, I’d say — becasue it really depends on what I’m in the mood for.
My personal sex life is a bit more vanilla, because I mean, on camera, I get to try out all this cool stuff and get a lot of playtime. So when it comes to my personal sex, yeah, I really enjoy spooning and making out and also doing some positions that just don’t look good on camera, but are really intimate.
I first discovered my kinks, I think I was still living with my parents, and I started realizing that it’s fun to stick stuff up your butt, even though I don’t recommend using household items. But I was too embarrassed to go to the sex shop. So I was just figuring out how to have fun with cucumbers and stuff like that. And then later, when I was in a relationship, I realized that I’m really into bondage too. So even though my partner wasn’t very talented rigger, so it was a pity but I really enjoyed it a lot.
So yes, I think there’s two things on the top of my bucket list and one is definitely gang bang. I really want to do that sometime though. I dread the organization of it. So I have to see if I can get someone else to do that part. The other thing I’d really like to try a suspension bondage. And I think it must be really exciting. And yeah, I can’t wait to do it sometime.
I think the best way to get started into kinky play, especially if you maybe feel . . . if you feel silly or something, that is just to embrace that feeling. I mean, it’s called play after all. So just enjoy yourself. Have fun, and I mean, laughing isn’t forbidden and nothing. Yeah, it’s totally cool to laugh during sex and just have fun and be a bit dorky sometimes.
Three words that my kinky play partners would use to describe me would probably be a caring, intuitive, and a little bit greedy.
Probably the most embarrassing thing that happened to me during a scene was in a shoot earlier this year. I shaved my legs in the morning and we started shooting on the hotel bed. And at some point, the producer stopped the camera and said, “where are these bloodstains coming from?” Because they were like tiny bloodstains on the bedsheet, and it was so embarrassing, and I felt so bad. And yeah, I mean, we were able to continue, and I hope they were able to remove it in post production. But I was so embarrassed.
When strangers ask me what I do for a living, I usually just tell them that I’m in video production, like really vague. And when they start to ask more questions, I say, Ah, yes, for advertisements, and I’m not allowed to talk about the clients I work for. So it’s really a pity. And the good thing is that because I actually do some kind of video production, I can talk about some, some tech and so on. So it isn’t too suspicious once they start asking a few questions.
How I got started in the business was in January 2020. So just two and a half years ago, even though it feels much longer, because there’s been so many cool things to experience. Yeah, I just had my DSLR from art school and started to film myself. The quality was really bad and just homemade stuff. But I had a lot of fun with it. And I realized there were a lot of people who really liked what I did and like to see me. So I started doing more and more and somehow it became a career.
The most art or interesting request I had ever was when I was still doing webcam and some guy took me into the private chat and asked me if I could work for him. And I did that. And later we had another session where I remember to bring 1.5 liters of carbonated soft drinks and was just by hoping for him for half an hour. It was a lot of fun. And I think he had a pretty good time, even though I’ve never heard of that king before.
One unexpected thing I learned about myself as I became a clip creator is that actually I really like order. Like, I always thought of myself being creative chaos, but I realized, okay, if you want to create something, you need to have systems in place to help you funnel that energy in a way so you don’t end up wasting your time and can actually do what you enjoy most
One kinky and sexy skill from my kinks and my play that helped me in everyday life definitely was setting boundaries. Like I think in BDSM it’s so essential to discuss what your taboos, what you’re into, and how to keep yourself safe. And I think that helped me a lot to stand up for myself more and talk openly about what I want in life and what I don’t want, especially also in relationships.
If I could spend one evening with whatever person I choose, I’d love to spend an evening with Kate Bornstein, because she’s such an icon and one of her books really helped me through some difficult times. And I think she’s really inspiring to a lot of people, especially to the trans community.
Flogging or bondage? That’s a really tough one for me. I’d say bondage.
Impact – thuddy or stingy? Definitely go for thuddy because I don’t know the stingy pain isn’t for me.
Leather or latex? Definitely leather. I love leather. I think it looks so hot. And with latex I never literally got into it. So leather, leather is prefered.
Electric play or puppy play? I’m not into puppy play at all. So it’s going to be electric play in this case.
Praise or Humiliation? It’s definitely praise.
Cake or pie? Cake