Beyond Pegging: Prostate Massage, Orgasm & Technique

By Luna Matatas

You may have heard the prostate referred to as the p-spot or the “male G-spot”; or maybe you’ve heard of “prostate milking” — kind of like a massage for the prostate. If you have a penis, you have multiple pleasure spots beyond the penis and the prostate might be one of them. People get curious about prostate pleasure for all kinds of reasons. If you’re into pegging strap-on sex, which indirectly stimulates the prostate — you may enjoy exploring more direct prostate orgasm techniques too. 

 

Finding the right prostate pleasure technique takes a bit of trial and error but keep reading for key prostate pleasure anatomy, tips for beginners, and p-spot techniques.

 

What is a prostate?

 

The prostate is a gland that’s located between the base of the penis and the bladder. Its main function is to produce prostatic fluid, an important part of the seminal fluid that carries sperm out of the body during ejaculation. Prostatic fluid helps sperm survive longer and be more mobile. 

 

Technically all human bodies have prostates. The Skene’s glands are sometimes referred to as “the female prostate” in people with vulvas. These paraurethral glands produce fluid during arousal that contains some of the same proteins as seminal fluid. Both are located in about the same place and develop from the same cells. 

 

Why is the prostate considered such an orgasmic powerhouse? Because it’s packed with feel-good nerve endings. You can access it through the rectum by inserting a finger or sex toy approximately 2-3 inches into the anus. 

 

Compared to the softer rectal tissue that surrounds it, the prostate can feel a little bit like a marble or a walnut. It’s also easier to find when the receptive partner is relaxed and aroused. 

 

What is prostate milking?

 

Prostate massage is sometimes referred to as prostate milking. It involves stimulating the gland until prostatic fluid is released. This often produces  a greater volume than is typical from penis orgasms. Some people experience full-body convulsions too. However, not everyone enjoys prostate milking or can achieve it — so keep tabs on what’s pleasurable for you. 

 

Prostate milking is what we see a lot of in mainstream prostate porn, but it isn’t the only goal. Prostate massage can be a lot of fun even without ejaculating or orgasming from it. Milking the prostate is a time and sensation-intense activity, so it may not happen on your first try.

What is a prostate orgasm?

 

Some people describe prostate orgasms as distinctly different from other types of orgasms, but physiologically, they’re much the same: stimulation causes muscle contractions that send waves of pleasure through the body. They might feel full-bodied and more intense, plus can happen with or without ejaculation. For some, prostate orgasms allow for multiple orgasms during sex. Others enjoy the feeling of fullness in their anus while they stimulate their penis, nipples, or other pleasure areas. 

 

New sensations can feel weird at first, so don’t be surprised if you don’t have a prostate orgasm during your first session. 

 

What preparation do you need for prostate play?

 

Prostate play prep is about readying your space and your body. Preparing for things like mess, anal warm-up, and fuller body arousal can lead to a more relaxed experience that invites pleasure. 

 

Six things you can do to prepare for prostate play:

  1. Prep your surface. Ensure you have undisturbed, private time. Consider putting down a towel or sex blanket to soak up lube or body fluids. 
  2. Prep your butt. With any kind of anal play, encountering poop is a possibility. Eating a high-fiber diet and being well-hydrated can help.

Some butt prep options:

  • Some choose to use an anal syringe/enema bulb with warm water to flush out any particles of poop left from their last bowel movement. 
  • Shower and wash the external parts of the anus after your last bowel movement. 
  • Have mess prep ready: Towels can protect your bed. Barriers like condoms and disposable gloves make messes easier to manage.
  1. Gather your prostate tools.
  • Good quality lube: A lot of it makes going into the butt easier and increases sensation. Silicone or thick water-based lubes are best.
  • Small prostate massagers: Vibrating or non-vibrating. I like Aneros prostate massagers because they’re small but very targeted for prostate pleasure. Instead of thrusting, you rock it in your body using squeezing and relaxing movements.
  • Erotic stimulation: Porn, erotica, dirty talk, a partner. Get your brain engaged.
  • Condoms for toys or penises, and latex or nitrile disposable gloves for fingers. Cut or file fingernails or cover them with gloves to avoid injury to the rectal tissue.
  1. Get VERY aroused. Turn yourself on in ways that are already familiar, like penis stimulation. Once you feel relaxed, start exploring the butthole externally with fingers or sex toys. Without proper warm-up, the delicate tissue of the anus is prone to injury.
  2. Train Your Ass for Prostate Pleasure. If you’re new to anal sex, you will likely need to train your anus. At first, anal penetration might feel like you’re going to have a bowel movement, but it shouldn’t feel painful. 

Three prostate stimulation techniques to try

 

Prostates respond to medium-firm, continuous stimulation. Fingers get tired, so consider bringing in prostate sex toys. Keep at one technique for a little while before switching to something else. Consider starting with these:

  1. Massaging: Use one or two fingers and use a come hither motion inside the rectum. No thrusting — try rocking fingers. Keep the fingers inside and use strokes that put pressure toward the front of the body (visualize behind the penis base). Experiment with speed and pressure. 
  2. Swiping: Move one or two fingers from side to side across the prostate in a windshield-wiper motion. Go slowly; sometimes the side-to-side motion increases the sensation of fullness.
  3. External prostate stimulation:  Use the perineum and the space behind the testicles to apply pressure (with fingers or a strong vibrator) in and up towards the front of the body. The perineum is a nerve-rich area between the penis and the anus. 

Notice and communicate what feels good and what doesn’t. It can take a bit of exploring to figure out where the P-spot is located on your body. 

 

What if I don’t have an erection during prostate massage?

 

Lots of people worry about not being hard during prostate massage. Stress and preoccupation during sex don’t facilitate orgasm. If you’re having a great time without an erection during p-spot play — AWESOME! It might just be what your arousal looks like. People don’t have erections  during prostate play for many reasons, like:

  1. Butt stuff might feel good in a different way than penis pleasure does.
  2. Feeling nervous or worried about mess or pain or erections can distract from pleasure. 
  3. Erections might be accustomed to penis stimulation, so they switch off during anal stimulation

Pleasure comes in many different forms. If you’re playing with a partner, let them know what your pleasure looks like.  

 

Now that you’ve got tips, techniques, and toys for p-spot play, you are ready to begin or advance your prostate adventure. Be gentle with your butt and honor the readiness of the butts you’re lucky enough to be inside of. Prostate pleasure is about play, not performance.  


Want more prostate tips? My Prostate Play Skills on-demand webinar has a ton of info and a body demo so you can see techniques in action. My Prostate Pleasure Digital Guide comes with the webinar or can be instantly downloaded separately — it’s 19 pages of p-spot pleasure tips!

Prostate pleasure is about play, not performance.

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Luna Matatas is a Sex and Pleasure Educator with over 15 years of experience teaching sex and empowerment workshops. She celebrates body confidence, self-adoration, and building shame-free pleasure in and out of the bedroom. She teaches over 30+ webinars. Read all her BDSM Blogs and classes on Kink Skills, Threesomes and Sexual Confidence. Luna hosts The Plug Podcast by b-Vibe, an anal sex podcast. She created Peg The Patriarchy® and Meditate Medicate Masturbate® brands as part of her sex-positive and feminist merchandise.

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