By Luna Matatas
You may have heard the prostate referred to as the p-spot or the “male G-spot”; or maybe you’ve heard of “prostate milking” — kind of like a massage for the prostate. If you have a penis, you have multiple pleasure spots beyond the penis and the prostate might be one of them. People get curious about prostate pleasure for all kinds of reasons. If you’re into pegging strap-on sex, which indirectly stimulates the prostate — you may enjoy exploring more direct prostate orgasm techniques too.
Finding the right prostate pleasure technique takes a bit of trial and error but keep reading for key prostate pleasure anatomy, tips for beginners, and p-spot techniques.
The prostate is a gland that’s located between the base of the penis and the bladder. Its main function is to produce prostatic fluid, an important part of the seminal fluid that carries sperm out of the body during ejaculation. Prostatic fluid helps sperm survive longer and be more mobile.
Technically all human bodies have prostates. The Skene’s glands are sometimes referred to as “the female prostate” in people with vulvas. These paraurethral glands produce fluid during arousal that contains some of the same proteins as seminal fluid. Both are located in about the same place and develop from the same cells.
Why is the prostate considered such an orgasmic powerhouse? Because it’s packed with feel-good nerve endings. You can access it through the rectum by inserting a finger or sex toy approximately 2-3 inches into the anus.
Compared to the softer rectal tissue that surrounds it, the prostate can feel a little bit like a marble or a walnut. It’s also easier to find when the receptive partner is relaxed and aroused.
Prostate massage is sometimes referred to as prostate milking. It involves stimulating the gland until prostatic fluid is released. This often produces a greater volume than is typical from penis orgasms. Some people experience full-body convulsions too. However, not everyone enjoys prostate milking or can achieve it — so keep tabs on what’s pleasurable for you.
Prostate milking is what we see a lot of in mainstream prostate porn, but it isn’t the only goal. Prostate massage can be a lot of fun even without ejaculating or orgasming from it. Milking the prostate is a time and sensation-intense activity, so it may not happen on your first try.
Some people describe prostate orgasms as distinctly different from other types of orgasms, but physiologically, they’re much the same: stimulation causes muscle contractions that send waves of pleasure through the body. They might feel full-bodied and more intense, plus can happen with or without ejaculation. For some, prostate orgasms allow for multiple orgasms during sex. Others enjoy the feeling of fullness in their anus while they stimulate their penis, nipples, or other pleasure areas.
New sensations can feel weird at first, so don’t be surprised if you don’t have a prostate orgasm during your first session.
Prostate play prep is about readying your space and your body. Preparing for things like mess, anal warm-up, and fuller body arousal can lead to a more relaxed experience that invites pleasure.
Six things you can do to prepare for prostate play:
Some butt prep options:
Prostates respond to medium-firm, continuous stimulation. Fingers get tired, so consider bringing in prostate sex toys. Keep at one technique for a little while before switching to something else. Consider starting with these:
Notice and communicate what feels good and what doesn’t. It can take a bit of exploring to figure out where the P-spot is located on your body.
Lots of people worry about not being hard during prostate massage. Stress and preoccupation during sex don’t facilitate orgasm. If you’re having a great time without an erection during p-spot play — AWESOME! It might just be what your arousal looks like. People don’t have erections during prostate play for many reasons, like:
Pleasure comes in many different forms. If you’re playing with a partner, let them know what your pleasure looks like.
Now that you’ve got tips, techniques, and toys for p-spot play, you are ready to begin or advance your prostate adventure. Be gentle with your butt and honor the readiness of the butts you’re lucky enough to be inside of. Prostate pleasure is about play, not performance.
Want more prostate tips? My Prostate Play Skills on-demand webinar has a ton of info and a body demo so you can see techniques in action. My Prostate Pleasure Digital Guide comes with the webinar or can be instantly downloaded separately — it’s 19 pages of p-spot pleasure tips!
Prostate pleasure is about play, not performance.
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Luna Matatas is a Sex and Pleasure Educator with over 15 years of experience teaching sex and empowerment workshops. She celebrates body confidence, self-adoration, and building shame-free pleasure in and out of the bedroom. She teaches over 30+ webinars. Read all her BDSM Blogs and classes on Kink Skills, Threesomes and Sexual Confidence. Luna hosts The Plug Podcast by b-Vibe, an anal sex podcast. She created Peg The Patriarchy® and Meditate Medicate Masturbate® brands as part of her sex-positive and feminist merchandise.
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