By Evie Lupine
With the Holiday season just around the corner, it’s time to start shopping for all of the kinky folks on your gift list. But what should you get? It can be hard to choose amongst a sea of beginner’s kits and novelty toys. If you want to find the perfect present for your friend, play partner, or sweetheart that they will love (and actually use!) just keep reading…
Maybe you have someone in your life who’s brand new to BDSM and doesn’t know where to start. While an introductory toy set would be the common choice here, I would actually recommend starting with the kinky card decks from Kink Academy. Their Ready, Kink, Go! set is focused around negotiation and includes important questions like, “What are your hard limits?” and “What does it look like when you’re having a good time?” Used properly, the deck can help set the stage for a positive first scene, leaving no important detail undiscussed.
The Kinky Talk set features 52 cards of broad-ranging kinky questions that cover everything from the personal to the humorous and amusing. This is a great icebreaker game for parties as well as a tool for getting to know new partners — or even yourself!
Ready, Kink, Go! & Kink Talk cards from KinkAcademy on Etsy
Littles can be some of the most delightful kinksters to shop for during the holiday season. Getting a little just the right present can make them light up like a Christmas tree, and it’s hard to go wrong with a high-quality onesie. Onesies Down Under not only has a rotating selection of custom-made prints, they also have adorable tutus, pajamas, bloomers and tops if onesies aren’t your little’s thing.
For littles that like to mix in other elements of BDSM with their roleplay, an adjustable pink spreader bar like the one made by Stockroom might be an unexpected but delightful gift. (cuffs not included)
Don’t leave your favorite pet out of the holiday gift-giving! And no, I don’t mean your actual dog or cat, but the adorable human pets so many of us know in the kink community. One of my favorite gifts I’ve gotten during my time in the lifestyle is a custom-engraved food bowl one of my partners purchased for me. Of course, he had to go to the mall and pretend it was for an actual animal, but luckily we have more options these days. Like this glittery personalized bowl from Etsy with twelve color choices.
A collar can mean many different things depending on the person, relationship, or kink. For some, it’s a sign of a committed relationship. For others, it’s simply a practical bondage device or it can be a tool that helps enhance the wearer’s roleplay headspace. If your pet fits into that last category, I might suggest this custom-engraved luxury velvet pet collar. Not only is it stylish, it’s also comfortable and easily adjusted to fit a variety of neck sizes.
Personalized Stainless Steel Pet Food Bowl from NoxDesignShop on Etsy
Customizable Engraved Luxe Velvet Puppy/Kitten Collar from TheKittenCollection on Etsy
Fun fact: did you know that one of the possible origins of the term “Boxing Day” is the tradition of British aristocracy giving their servants the 26th of December off, and providing them with a “Christmas Box” gift? So why not continue that tradition for your service submissive? They spend so much of the year giving to others and don’t often get a chance to receive themselves. These spiky coasters are a unique yet discreet present sure to provide a little extra stimulation whenever they’re fetching coffee or mixing drinks.
While a homemade gift for a Daddy or Mommy is always my first suggestion, some of us are not so artistically or craft inclined. Avoid making a glitter bomb go off in your kitchen while attempting to make a popsicle-stick picture frame, and get something premade. For caregiver Dominants that love discipline, punishment, and restraint, I suggest this leather hobble belt. It can be worn as a real belt, but also is designed to work as a set of cuffs, an armbinder, and even an impact play toy. Score!
For caregivers that prefer a little rest and relaxation, how about these pink Himalayan bath salts? (The glitter will thankfully be contained within the bathtub!) Or maybe this aromatic massage candle? This candle can be used on its own by yourself as a warming winter moisturizer or could be easily incorporated into a service-centered sensual massage scene.
What do you get for the power exchange couple that has it all? Well, I have a few ideas: A posture collar is great for so many scenarios, including helping to keep a submissive headspace during daily service around the house or adding an extra layer of discipline during high-protocol evenings. If the power exchange is less scene-focused and more protocol- and ritual-focused, I would suggest something like this meditation bench. It’s completely vanilla and foldable for easy storage, but is a great device to assist with posture and long kneeling periods. Your favorite submissive — and their knees — will thank you.
Posture Collar with Buckle Closure from BitchesLoveLeather on Etsy
Posture Collar with Buckle Closure from BitchesLoveLeather on Etsy
Let’s be honest: the overlap between nerd culture and kink culture is pretty freakin’ big. Go to any munch and you’re sure to see at least one person wearing a geeky t-shirt or a backpack laden with pins and buttons from their favorite fandom. If this matches the description of someone on your shopping list, might I suggest the KinkLab Neon Wand? This electro-play staple is able to create sensations from mild to wild, and comes with multiple different attachments to give even further scene options. The purple or red electrical arcs the device generates (depending on the model) are not only a dungeon favorite, but also bring to mind old-school sci-fi movies. And who wouldn’t want to control electricity like some kind of superhero? (Or supervillain, depending on the scene.)
If someone in your life is really into pain — or just wants to explore it more — there’s nothing better than a high-quality paddle. And I would wager the creations over at Miss Rose Paddles are some of the best in the business. From compact hairbrush paddles ideal for intimate spaces to massive “thorn” paddles for heavy players, there is sure to be something in the shop for every budget and every shade of kink.
When it comes to bondage, it can be difficult to find something truly unique. There’s all the same gags, the same blindfolds, made from more or less the same materials and similar patterns anywhere you go shopping for BDSM goodies. But I’ve found something truly special for the bondage lovers out there that I’ve never seen anywhere else: the one-way magic blindfold! I’ve had this in my personal kit for years and it’s great for scenes where you want the wearer to be able to see a little of the action while still limiting their sight. The convex design doesn’t press into your eyelids, either, which makes it comfortable for long wear and avoids inducing a sense of claustrophobia.
Some of us just love to learn. Toys and stuff are great, but how about tools to further our kink journey mentally and emotionally instead? If that sounds like you or the loved one you’re shopping for this season, I highly recommend the guides over at Dom sub Living. Their training and workshops can give you tools on either side of the slash to help with your power exchange journey. As a special bonus, for Black Friday through Cyber Monday, they will also be offering a limited-time Mentoring Bundle for just $99. This bundle includes 10 video recordings and 2 coaching days. (It also helps support my work! Both Dom sub Living links are affiliate codes, and I make a small commission from your purchase.)
"What do you get for the power exchange couple that has it all?"
Sharing is caring
Evie Lupine
Evie Lupine is an asexual kink educator and YouTuber who first began her journey into the lifestyle about 7 years ago. In that time, she’s been a 24/7 collared submissive, a petplayer, a bondage freak, and an occasional sadist. Her passion for learning as well as her diverse interests within kink naturally led her in the direction of helping others with their own discovery processes. She focuses on supporting folks developing happier, healthier relationships while separating the fantasy from the reality of doing BDSM every day.
You can find Evie on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Patreon.
READ NEXT
Evie Lupine dives into a comprehensive look at both the psychological aspects of SPH and its practical application, including beginner and advanced play suggestions. Whether you’re curious about integrating SPH into your dynamic or just seeking to understand more about this aspect of kink, this video offers valuable insights and advice.
