Perspectives Archives - Zipper Magazine https://zippermagazine.com/category/perspectives/ Online magazine exploring the world of kink Thu, 22 Jun 2023 08:25:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://zippermagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/favi-01-01-150x150.png Perspectives Archives - Zipper Magazine https://zippermagazine.com/category/perspectives/ 32 32 ChatGPT Gets Turned Out By Kinksters: Exploring Generative AI’s Polymorphous Perversity. https://zippermagazine.com/chatgpt-sex-stories/ https://zippermagazine.com/chatgpt-sex-stories/#respond Mon, 12 Jun 2023 08:51:39 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=19618 Pegging was declared The Fetish of the Year, could prostate milking be next? If the intense, prostate massage-induced, full-body orgasms so many rave about have you curious, this complete prostate play guide has your back (end).

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ChatGPT Gets Turned Out By Kinksters: Exploring Generative AI’s Polymorphous Perversity

By Muse Waltrude

What does ChatGPT know about sex? Maybe more than you think. Despite the program’s restrictions on sexual content, creative kinksters have discovered ways to explore the erotic depths of ChatGPT’s artificial intelligence. 

 

When we asked Zipper readers to share what they’ve gotten ChatGPT to produce, they sent in fetish art, sex tutorials, smutty fanfic, and stories that went far beyond what’s typically considered safe for work. Turns out the ChatGPT is far, far kinkier than its programmers know. 

 

Leave it to a Domme like Muse Waltrude to milk this much perversity out of ChatGPT. Maybe the AI future isn’t so bleak — or sexless — after all.

Introducing The Princess and the Gooner

 

He arrived home after a long day at work, eager to dive into his beloved VR chair. He took off his jacket, tossed it aside, and with a grin of anticipation, he ran his fingers over the sleek surface of the device.

 

“Oh, Princess,” he whispered to himself, feeling a surge of desire run through him. He let the familiar sensations of the virtual world wash over him. And there she was, Princess, with her wicked smile and alluring voice.

 

“Well, well, well, look who’s back for more,” she purred, her tone dripping with sensuality.

 

“I knew you couldn’t resist me, pet.”

 

He groaned in response, feeling his body respond to her voice as if it were a physical touch. “You know I can’t.”

 

“I have a surprise for you. A brand new expansion pack for your favorite scenario, Spellbound. Shall we try it out?”

 

He felt a thrill of excitement run through him. Princess always had new and exciting ways to deepen his trance and increase his addiction to her.

 

The Plot Thickens…

 

“Yes, Princess.”

 

“Good boy!”

 

“Look into my eyes, pet,” she whispered seductively, “give me The Stare, and DROP for Me!”

 

He nodded, his eyes fixed on hers, already slipping into a trance.

 

“On the count of three, the spirals will appear.”

 

“One,” Princess began, her voice growing softer.

 

“Two,” she continued, her words dripping with seduction.

 

“Three,” she whispered, her eyes widening as the spirals began to appear, beaming straight from her eyes into his, entrancing him.

 

“You are a Gooner, pet,” she said, her voice taking on a hypnotic cadence. “But what if your entire life was just a simulation, a dream that you’re about to wake up from? How would it feel to discover that everything you know is not real, that your entire existence is just a figment of someone else’s imagination?”

 

“I don’t know, Princess, I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore.”

 

“Good. That’s exactly where I want you to be. Lost and disoriented, ready to follow my every command.”

 

“On the count of three, I will wake you, pet. The darkness will dissolve, and you will find yourself in another time and another place. One. Two… Three, have a fraction of the real reality, and WAKE!”

 

He found himself in a strange pod filled with a mysterious liquid, body encased in a complex web of neural connections and devices.

 

The World Must Be…

 

Around him were millions of other pods containing gooners like himself, trapped in a perpetual state of gooning ecstasy, their energy harnessed by the cold artificial intelligences that controlled their hellworld.

 

“Relax, pet,” Princess murmured, her voice echoing in his mind. “Let go of your fear and embrace the bliss of your existence. You are here to serve a higher purpose, to give pleasure to the universe itself. Embrace your role as a gooner, and let your energy flow Freely.”

 

He felt the presence of something ancient and powerful, something that had existed since the dawn of time. For in this strange and terrifying universe, he was nothing more than a cog in a pleasure machine. A battery for the universe’s libido.

 

But one thing he did understand…

 

As he slipped back into his default simulation – ‘Arriving Home From Work and Sinking into the VR Ecstatic Chair’ – five words blinked before his eyes: The World Must Be Porn!

 

The End

"Around him were millions of other pods containing gooners like himself, trapped in a perpetual state of gooning ecstasy, their energy harnessed by the cold artificial intelligences that controlled their hellworld."

All gallery images courtesy of AI-image-generator tools were fed excerpts of the actual text from “Introducing The Princess and the Gooner”

Muse-Waltrude

Muse Waltrude

Muse Waltrude is a femdom goddess, psychedelic adventurer and non-binary alien who can be worshiped here. This is their first piece for Zipper.

Contact: 

Links / IG / Twitter

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Beyond The Goon Cave https://zippermagazine.com/beyond-the-goon-cave/ https://zippermagazine.com/beyond-the-goon-cave/#respond Thu, 18 May 2023 14:37:24 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=19354 Gooning is having a moment in the mainstream media and it’s, uh, sensational. Goon caves! Porn addiction! Angela White! Author and gooner JV Marx talks about what gooning really is — at least, to him.

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Beyond The Goon Cave

By  JV Marx

I’m seeing a lot of talk about gooning in, like, regular ass podcasts and major news publications, of late. Everyone’s joking about it, yet somehow they’re still missing what gooning actually is. 

 

I mean, they’re getting close —no pun intended. They’re talking about edging, pornography obsession, and sick gamer chair set ups (ugh, “goon caves”) to jerk off in. They’re touching on the vague concept that, yes, some straight men masturbate together or talk about masturbating online. Yet it always seems to come back to incels jerking off to Girls With Big Boobs in their mom’s basement. It’s not even half the picture.

 

Maybe that’s because Urban Dictionary isn’t really a reliable source when you’re trying to have a worthwhile discussion at the intersection of aesthetics, sex work, and homoerotic subculture. Maybe it’s because people are only doing research on the straight side of PornHub. (Hint: it’s more than the straight side of PornHub.) To understand gooning, you have to flip the camera around, and look at a gooner actually gooning.

 

Gooning is more than just a Reddit culture surrounding masturbation obsession, or “pornography addiction.” Gooning, if  anything, is defined by a very obvious set of physical/vocal characteristics and associated moods. It looks and sounds like something very particular. 

 

There’s basically a script at this point: The eyes cross. The tongue hangs out. The brow furrows. Drool puddles. The mouth opens wide. Stupid pleasure radiates in a cringey smile. (Why is nobody talking about this?) They groan. They moan. They do something called “penis babble” and speak in tongues talking about jerking off.  It’s usually primal (see also: monkeybating). It’s usually stupid, or embarrassing. It’s intentionally cringe (see also: loserbating). All things that “shouldn’t be” horny” but somehow, totally are.



Gooning is about taking off the shackles of what’s a polite and acceptable expression of pleasure and really going ham with it. Allowing that pleasure to manifest in the face, body, and voice. Thinking with your dick. Thinking with your pussy. Being dumb. Being an animal. 

 

And we animals are social! On camera, in person, dudes will flex at each other, show off for each other. Point at their penis. (And yes, we say “penis” — not dick, not cock). Gooners use intentionally cringe, puberty-speak language for jerkin it.  “Makin my peepee go bounce bounce, up and down on my weenur bro, pullin pud, up and down. My fuck stick. My rigid phallus.” etc. etc. etc. 

 

Gooners encourage one another. Coach one another. Copy one another. Call back and forth like some penile stichomythia. They record themselves, show off online or do it together in person. And like, yes, whatever, some of these dudes are straight. But the point is that they’re doing it together. 

 

Gooning’s existence is only made possible through a homoerotic context. Gooners aren’t finding each other online by accident. Gooners goon with other gooners, they goon for other gooners, they goon to other gooners. And yes, some of them goon to girls (even if the girls are calling them faggots and sissies), and they goon to guys fucking girls. Call it heteroflexible, call it gay, call it whatever. They’re sharing it with the other guys online. This is ‘bator culture. A homoerotic third space. Dudes being dudes. 

 

But this kink didn’t just come from nowhere, or the pandemic, like some suggest — it stems from platonic homoerotic rituals between men when they come of age. You can’t have a community of masturbators, or completely develop some complicated masturbation kink, if there aren’t dudes jerking off together in the first place. Guys jerk off together. It’s pretty normal “guy stuff,” but it’s definitely on the gay side of the fence. 

 

Moreover, with gooning, it’s not just dudes. Girls goon. Trans people goon. While men are more commonly socialized to a) masturbate at all, and b) masturbate communally, women gooning in contemporary pornography predate guys doing it by a long shot. Ahegao face in hentai and video games? It’s probably where gooners got the idea in the first place. The ecstatic embrace of pleasure with fully-embodied expression is up for grabs by anyone, right? 

 

Anyway: Point is: it’s just incredibly irksome to see “our thing” so poorly represented and explained in the discourse. Especially when it’s such an inherently queer thing. The real deal is way more interesting than like, discussing a gooner’s sense of interior design for their jerk-off lair. What about the person actually jerking off?



Why is it that when we talk about something as edgy (sorry) and counter-cultural as gooning, we barely talk about the gooning part. God forbid anybody mentions that *whispers:* gay people do it. If we did, maybe we’d learn something about ourselves, our culture — and how we can all cum like, really really hard. 

Because of the underground nature of this kink, not much is widely known or agreed upon, even among gooning aficionados

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Your Favorite Kinks & Weirdest Fetishes – Kinky Census https://zippermagazine.com/popular-kinks-weirdest-fetishes/ https://zippermagazine.com/popular-kinks-weirdest-fetishes/#respond Thu, 02 Feb 2023 09:17:03 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=19041 What are the most popular kinks? Weirdest fetishes? What if you’re not into your partner's kinks? Are there more tops or bottoms? Watts The Safeword’s Kinky Census has the answers!

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Your Favorite Kinks & Weirdest Fetishes - Kinky Census

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What are the most popular kinks? Weirdest fetishes? How many kinksters are neurodivergent? Are there more tops or bottoms? What’s our biggest squick? Is it common to not be into your partner’s kinks? How do most people handle kink incompatibility? What the answers to these questions (and more!) revealed about the BDSM community, what we fantasize about, and the most popular fetishes is fascinating! 

 

And if you really want to geek out, tune into episode #156 of the Watts Your Safeword Podcast (you can find it on Spotify, Apple, or your favorite streaming service). Sexologist, BDSM expert, and Zipper Magazine Editor-in-Chief, Sunny Megatron, joined Amp for a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces behind what the kink community is into. 

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BDSM in Japan: What the History Channel Won’t Tell You https://zippermagazine.com/bdsm-in-japan/ https://zippermagazine.com/bdsm-in-japan/#respond Tue, 17 Jan 2023 16:15:36 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=18785 Curious about BDSM in Japanese culture? Midori gives us an insider's look at the fascinating & complicated history of sex in Japan, revealing how it shaped the present-day kink scene & fused BDSM, shibari, sex work, and the entertainment industry together.

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BDSM in Japan: What the History Channel Won’t Tell You

By Midori © 2022

Are you planning on visiting Japan to take in the culture and enjoy kink life? You totally should! 

 

If you’re coming from “the West,” Japan offers a mind-boggling array of unique experiences and pleasures: food, history, sights, art, architecture, performing arts, transportation, language system, and certainly entertainment and pleasure life. You’ll find plenty of info for these in the usual G-rated resources. 

 

When it comes to the kinky hot spots, you won’t find any information in your typical Lonely Planet or Fodor’s Travel Guide. After my most recent trip to Japan, I shared a few of my favorite places plus some essential tips on Japanese kink bar etiquette. You can find that in my BDSM Travel Guide to Japan here.  

 

Accessing and understanding kink life in Japan, however, is an entirely different matter.  

Kabukicho red gate and colorful neon street signs at night, Shinjuku, Tokyo. Basile Morin, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Kink Life In Japan: It’s Not What You Think

 

The BDSM realities are different in ways you won’t find explained in common travel and culture sources. There’s much to discuss on this, more than I have space here, so please consider this as a whetting of your global kink curiosity. I’ll cover more in future articles, and I’m happy to discuss these during my biweekly Office Hours on Patreon.

 

People ask me, “Where do I find the kink community in Japan?” 

 

I’m from Japan, and I go back often to hang out in kinky places, teach, explore, and make new pervy friends. You’d think this would be an easy question for me to answer. The inquiring traveler thinks so too. 

 

Except it’s not. 

 

They’re met with my long sigh, a contemplative pause, and a pained expression. “Do you want the short answer or the long cultural analysis and contextualizing?” I ask. They look at me with hope, excitement, and bafflement. I know that I’m about to disappoint them. 

 

Please, don’t shoot the messenger. 

 

The Short Answer 

 

“Unless you’re looking for the ex-pat pervs, the ‘BDSM Community’ as you have likely experienced and expect, does not exist among Japanese folks. Do you have heaps of money for the commercial venues? Do you speak, read & write Japanese like a local? Unless you do, you probably won’t get into kink spaces. And don’t push the matter like some latter-day Commodore Perry.” 

 

The Long Answer(s) 

 

The English-speaking resident foreigners have their own self-organized pockets of social circles, much like kinksters in any small town in the USA. The people are lovely. As to how available or accessible they are to tourists coming through town, that’s entirely up to them. If you find them on various kinky networks, you can ask if you’d be welcome. But don’t expect automatic access. Be nice. Take a ‘no’ like a champ. 

 

Why can’t you find Japanese locals on kink social sites like FetLife? Because they speak, read, and write in Japanese. 

 

People who ask this refer to sites centered on English or other Latin-script languages. The Japanese language uses kanji, hiragana, and katakana, not Latin or Roman letters. Why communicate with one’s own people in someone else’s language? 

 

Beyond the obvious difference in language, kink cultural structure and perv social life in contemporary Japan are extremely different from that of the Western global north. It’s centered on the framework of the commercial entertainment district and revolves around spaces created by for-profit business entities. 

 

Japan’s pervy social systems are not formed in what might be called “The North American Model.” (Bear with me on this name. I’m still working on a more apt moniker in my ongoing social history research.) The North American Model is more of a horizontally self-organized gathering of private individuals who hold kink as part of their humanistic self-expression. Munches are one good example.

 

The Japanese for-profit structures cater to kink tastes through businesses that include kink-themed hostess bars, swingers bars, concept or theme bars, variety shows, stage acts, and more directly in-person service providers. Consider these as bastard descendants of the government-sanctioned pleasure quarter of the Edo era (1603 – 1867 CE).

Tokyo street scene host bar billboard, by Midori 2022

To understand the kink scenes in Japan today, we need to time-warp back to the early 17th century and look at the roots of its sex culture. 

 

Now, this is where we get into some deep cultural nerding! In the early 1600s, the Tokugawa government approved, licensed, regulated, and taxed walled-in areas of luxury entertainment venues and brothels in Edo (now Tokyo), Osaka, and Kyoto. Edo had a massive population boom as it became the new seat of power and administration. There were likely twice as many men than women. Entertainment, especially the erotic variety, was in high demand. 

Hishikawa Moronobu scene in the Yoshiwara 1680

Around the time that the Mayflower Pilgrims were setting the course for America’s sex-negative prudish future, Japan already had a well-organized red-light district where partaking of the floating world signaled social and economic virility for the big spenders. For the customers, the pleasure quarters provided a rare escape from the strict limitations of one’s birth caste. If you had the money, the merchants provided a slice of decadent heaven. For the women working there — most of whom were sold to the brothels as young girls to pay their father’s debt or keep the family fed through famine and taxation by the regional lords — it was hell on earth. 

 

The pleasure quarters of Edo became a firmly entrenched system in this complex, vertically organized, group-oriented society. For those who could afford a slice of the fantasy island, it was a relief and a compartmentalized refuge from the unrelenting pressures and restrictions that kept the caste-based social order humming along. Of course, the system served the governing authorities very well through taxation. The Tokugawa regime was also concerned that a powerful merchant class could destabilize their authority.  What’s one of the solutions to that? Encourage the glamor and luxury of the pleasure quarters as bread and circuses to keep the pesky bourgeoises busy. It also curbed crime and contained social disorder. 

 

The Shogunate government licensed three pleasure quarters. Shimagara in Kyoto, Shinmachi in Osaka, and lastly Yoshiwara of Edo(Tokyo); the most famed and notorious of the three sister districts. The Yoshiwara partied hard for three centuries, making its name synonymous with all the glitz of the Floating World.

 

Yoshiwara and the Floating World (ukiyo 浮世) begat fashion and trends followed fiercely by the status-conscious middle class and fashionistas of the time. The luxury entertainment crafts of Yoshiwara profoundly influenced what would eventually symbolize refined Edo and Japanese culture: cuisine, music, theater, textile, comedy, and popular media such as the ukiyo-e (浮世絵). The red-light district became the cradle of national cultural art. Think of the economies and businesses of Las Vegas, the West End, and Broadway birthing the pinnacle of the Western cultural arts. If you think that’s weird, think about what Shakespeare was doing and for whom. The bawdy becomes the beauty. It’s not a stretch. 

Prostitutes behind a harimise show window (張見世) in the Yukaku (遊郭, red light district) of Yoshiwara in Tokyo. Possibly by Kusakabe Kimbei (日下部 金幣) (1841 – 1934), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons 

The propaganda leaned hard on patriotism, nationalism, racial purity, and xenophobia. Of course, they had plenty of practice with bureaucratically organized sex slavery with “comfort women” in Korea. Domestically, they cloaked governmental pimping under the banner of Patriotism rather than slavery to brutalize the enemy. In 1958, in a grand act of hypocrisy, the Japanese government outlawed prostitution, even that which they had created themselves. 

 

The red-light district and adult entertainment did not disappear — not one bit. By now, the cultural system of adult entertainment of all types was firmly entrenched into the fabric and system of social order. It was a place where the ordinary worker bees, if they had enough Yen from their daily grind, could be a lord of the floating world, even if for only one night or one hour. This compartmentalization was a social and psychological necessity for individuals to carry on as functioning members of the hive. It was also a place where marginalized people, those not fitting into the mainstream, and folks without access to economic opportunities and privileges, could make a living and find a niche. It still is all of these things. 

 

While the historical and official Yoshiwara district is gone, the red light and pleasure districts are bigger business than any Shogun, Emperor, or bureaucrat could have ever imagined. It was, and still is, highly competitive as more companies compete for customers in this densely-packed city with a high cost of living. Repeat business and patron loyalty was the key to survival. The mercantile minds were brilliant at sniffing out niche interests to create super-specialized services and wedge them into tiny spaces. The sheer variety of venue themes is mind-boggling: Formal maids, anime maids, butlers, mistresses, matrons, girls in animal ears and glasses, office workers and secretaries, medical, and female-to-male cross-dressed pirate princes, etc, etc.

So what does this history have to do with kink social life today? Everything, actually. 

 

Today, these venues serve as de facto gathering spaces for people, whether just curious or deeply devoted to the themes. BDSM and shibari are just one of many exotic themes and proxy living rooms where people can feel a sense of belonging. 

 

Access to BDSM and socializing in a kink milieu is firmly part of this recreational service sector. BDSM, shibari, sex work, and the entertainment industry are intricately tied together. Kink is experienced as recreation, something titillating to consume for amusement and find camaraderie within a socially-permitted business container. 

 

In these spaces, people might learn about basic BDSM skills and activities, feel comfortable asking questions, and perhaps relax enough to reveal something of themselves. At the same time, because it’s a commercial venue, there’s a literal and metaphorical escape route. They can leave and keep the kink from coming home into their private lives. There is the plausible deniability to others and oneself that it was, after all, just a theme bar and a bit of a naughty night out.

 

Do not confuse these kink-themed bars with western-style play parties. These are hostess bars with kinky décor where play, usually light play or performances, might happen. No sex. Generally no nudity. People are drinking, sometimes heavily. In swingers’ bars with kink-themed playrooms, there might be some kink and sex, and a full bar. If you aren’t comfortable in S&M environments with alcohol, these are not good places for you. 

 

The guests often watch or talk about kink with the staff, who know how to keep the conversation and drinks flowing. The commercial venues become places where people see some kink and learn a bit through informal shares. On many occasions, I have watched customers ask what hot wax, whips, canes, or rope feels like. The lingerie-clad hostess drips a few drops on the customer’s arm, gives them a few swats, puts a collar on them, then pours another round of expensive whiskey. 

 

Contrary to what some might imagine or insist upon about Japan, BDSM and shibari isn’t practiced by every adult, considered a sacred or meditative art, or taught in rigorously demanding martial arts style schools. Are there some people who do that? Sure. Are there some places where you can enjoy a disciplined learning program? Sure. But the insinuation that shibari is commonly practiced and accepted as a meditative and spiritual tradition in Japan is an unfortunate steaming pile of Orientalist fiction created by Westerners

 

How things work behind the scenes in BDSM venues is not shared with curious foreign tourists or those coming to learn from the in-house rope bondage specialists. It’s a business of fantasy making. Don’t explain the magic. Keeping the illusion alive keeps the business alive. As someone who grew up in Tokyo and is seen as part of the greater pleasure industry (there’s no equivalent of my work in Japan, so they think of me as a perv culture writer) I’m privileged to have woman-to-woman frank conversations with the workers. These have been insightful, giving me multifaceted perspectives into the kinkier corners of the Floating World. 

 

The workers in these venues usually learn on the job. In reality, many workers have limited or no personal experience in kink. Often it is not even their personal interests. It’s a job.

 

Customers learn from entertainers, who themselves may have little actual play experience. Staff-to-staff training of BDSM skills as part of their hostess repertoire is probably the same as for other types of workers back in the floating worlds of Edo. 

 

These staff are exceptional at the central purpose of their service: to help you feel good, seen, and appreciated as a person. They work hard on their craft of personal space-making and lavishing attention on the customer. They are not there as the patron’s personal domina or private submissive partner. These are mutually agreed-upon and highly-choreographed pseudo-relationships. 

When you go to these spaces, enjoy and appreciate their host and hostess skills. Try your Japanese, even if just a faltering few phrases. You could ask them to teach you a kink word or two — that’s always good for a chuckle. While you’re there, strike up friendly conversations with other customers. You might make a new friend…. or more. 

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Midori

Your Fairy God-Auntie of Kink. Exploding Expectations. Challenging Conventions.”

Trailblazing educator, sexologist, artist, and irritant to banality, Midori founded Rope Dojo and ForteFemme: Women’s Dominance Intensive. She penned the first English instruction book on Shibari, “Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” in 2001, paving the way for the popularity of rope. Dan Savage calls her the “Super Nova of Kink,” while others affectionately call her Auntie Midori for her cool, tell-it-like-it-is, funny, reality-based teaching. 

She is also the author of “Wild Side Sex,” “Master Han’s Daughter,” and “Silk Threads.”

Education, Coaching, Private Learning & Art:   https://planetmidori.com

Special membership perks! Learn, laugh, and enjoy her special online classes, events, and art at www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori  where she is working on her next shibari book!

Contact: https://fhp-inc.com/contact/

Links

Workshops, articles, art, events – currently all on www.patreon.com/planetmidori where she is working on her next shibari

bookFetLife: Midori

IG: @PlanetMidori

Twitter: @PlanetMidori

FaceBook: @MidoriReallyMidori  

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Whats cuckold fetish

Cuckold terminology and etiquette can vary not only by community but also from person to person. This kink is a lot more versatile than many realize too. If you’ve ever wondered how a cuckcake differs from a hothusband, we’ve got you covered with this cuckoldry primer.

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New Year, New Kink: BDSM Community Intentions for 2023 https://zippermagazine.com/new-year-bdsm-community-intentions-2023/ https://zippermagazine.com/new-year-bdsm-community-intentions-2023/#respond Thu, 05 Jan 2023 09:00:20 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=18193 13 BDSM community movers and shakers share their New Year’s hopes and wishes for the kink world in the coming year. From personal exploration to commitment to community growth, let these reflections from Midori, Shay Tiziano, and more be your 2023 intention-setting inspiration for intimate exploration and making a positive impact in your community.

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New Year, New Kink: BDSM Community Intentions for 2023

By Mark Hay

Looking back at 2022, the kink community can find ample successes to celebrate. Perhaps most notably, after spending two years largely restricted to online spaces by the ongoing pandemic, we found safe ways to start reopening in-person venues and events. But rather than abandon the internet in favor of these reemerging options, we also strengthened and expanded pandemic-era digital communities, deepening and broadening networks and making the community more accessible than ever. Oh and *cough cough* the year also saw the launch of Zipper Magazine, a space for nuanced conversations about specific kinks and fetishes, as well as the community as a whole, that are accessible to insiders and outsiders alike. (That’s the goal at least!) 

 

But 2022 also served up a slew of reminders that, for all the strides the kink community’s made in terms of visibility, acceptance, accessibility, inclusivity, education, and safety, growth is a gradual and perpetual process—and there will always be more issues to grapple with. Notably, waves of crackdowns on kinksters (especially pro dommes) on social media pointed to the continued challenges of censorship and stigma online. The lingering effects of the pandemic, emerging economic woes, and ever-shifting laws and regulations put a spotlight on the fragility of dedicated in-person kink spaces. Fresh accounts of microaggressions and abuse at kink events, as well as the hopelessness some expressed about the chances of their local leaders hearing them out, much less addressing these issues, laid bare persistent safety and inclusivity shortcomings. (That issue is far from universal; some kink spaces are incredibly thoughtful and proactive on this front.) And that’s just a smattering of the issues that came on kinksters’ radars in 2022. 

 

As we head into a new year, full of opportunity to tackle these and other issues, Zipper asked thirteen prominent kinksters to share their hopes, dreams, and intentions for the community and its trajectory throughout 2023. Below, we present their wide-ranging thoughts and insights.  

These interviews have been edited for length and clarity, and appear in alphabetical order.

Kink Educator

Due to the pandemic, the kink community has not felt as connected. I hope 2023 brings a lot more kinky parties, educational events, and conferences. I hope we will be able to navigate connectivity while maintaining awareness of risks to our health, and our communities’ health. 

The push for accessibility and safety in kink spaces for people of all races and sexualities and people with disabilities is growing more pronounced in the kink community. I hope the community will become even more intentional in the ways we create safer, more welcoming and accessible spaces, and that we’ll see lots of big strides for kink equity.

BDSM & Sexuality Educator

There are some awesome events coming up in 2023 where I think we can put intersectionality into practice in all that we do as a community, and get one step closer to being a genuinely welcoming community for all who feel at home under the label of BDSM. I’m definitely manifesting for those events to be successful, and to spark further changes in that direction. 

My biggest intention for the community in 2023 is that we will continue to dismantle stereotypes about kink. I’ve been on the internet for a long time, but for some reason it seemed as if in 2022 in particular there was a lot of backlash against kink, whether in responses to recent celebrity scandals or through misinformation on apps like TikTok. As social media becomes a bigger part of our lives every year, I believe that we can harness these platforms for good as well, like helping people discover themselves and accurately learn about what the kink community does. 

Perhaps we can also finally rid our community of endless infighting about who’s kinkier, who’s doing BDSM the “right way,” and what the proper definition of this or that term is. I’d love to at least move in the direction where that squabbling no longer dominates my conversations.

As a community, I hope we can continue to educate people, creating an understanding of the world of kink that comes without judgment—not acceptance but an embrace. I dream of a world where “normal” does not exist, and we all live a life of understanding, respect, and consent. 

Inside the community, we all need to learn the role of respect. Men in particular need to stop being so thirsty and see their partners as humans first rather than some vessel for their desire. (Yes, other people do this too, but not to the extent that men do.)

D/s Couple, BDSM Educators & Hosts of “Loving BDSM” Podcast

The last few years have been a lot for us in ways that have made living our best D/s life even more challenging. And after nearly a decade together, it’s easy to get into ruts and routines. 

But we thrive together and as individuals when we’re secure and solid in our D/s relationship. So in the coming year, our personal goal is to reconnect within our power exchange on a deeper and more meaningful level. That means getting back to our BDSM dungeon for the kinds of scenes we haven’t been able to do at home. It means finding new and thoughtful ways to sink into and embrace our roles as Dom and sub. And it means working through the traumas—a term we don’t use lightly—stressors and conflicts we’ve lived through together over the past few years, in order to heal and grow so that we can be our best and most authentic selves with each other. 

As kink educators, we’ve worked for years to help normalize what a D/s relationship can be, beyond the erotic fantasies and airbrushed imagery often found online, by sharing what our relationship looks like—the good and bad. We’re going to keep doing that in as many ways as possible to help others create a happy, healthy power exchange in their lives. Especially those who want to live a D/s life but aren’t quite sure how to do that when the vanilla world interferes. But to do this, in the coming year, we’ll have to step outside of our comfort zones, embrace new opportunities to meet kinksters where they’re at, and find new ways to connect with them.

BDSM Educator & Content Creator

As the BDSM aesthetic becomes increasingly popular on platforms like TikTok and shows like Bonding and Euphoria, a new generation is getting curious about kink. If we want to see growth in the vibrancy and diversity of the community, it’s imperative that we welcome them with kindness and care… and create an encouraging, inclusive environment for them to explore. 

So for 2023, I’m dreaming of a community that continues to break away from single-sided, monolithic perceptions of kink and revels in the fact that there’s no singular way to be kinky. (Aside from the baselines of consent and communication this craft requires, obviously). 

At the beginning of my own journey, I struggled with imposter syndrome, and not feeling “legit enough.” Part of that was necessary growing pains, but I do wish I’d had access to more guidance and grace. So as we move forward, welcoming new people needs to start with more experienced, OG folks meeting young, perhaps clumsy expressions of kink with patience and education.

Owner of Leather Masters & House of MarKus, Leathersmith & Alternative Lifestyle Educator

We had to shut down the Leather Masters store in Dallas when COVID broke out in 2020. I took that downtime to finish my psychology degree and redirect my focus to a new venture, Fox-N-Lion, focused on education on alternative lifestyles—everything from kink to poly to LGBT. We’re working on our first educational content, with the goal of releasing it within the year. 

The idea is to do education not just for individuals or small groups, but instead mass education for those who don’t know about these lifestyles, like corporations or chambers of commerce. The goal is to help them learn how to adapt for and work with employees, customers, and others from these communities. Discrimination still exists against people in these groups, but it’s often due to the fact that people fear what they don’t understand. So the only solution I see is to provide people in the wider world with the right information and resources to reach them.

Dominatrix & Fetish Content Creator

In 2023, I want to make kink kinky again. Too many submissives these days focus on jerking off, on their orgasms—which is so vanilla, boring, and self-serving. Let’s get back to good old-fashioned domination with some imprisonment, humiliation, whipping, chastity, and caning. Let’s stop letting what people see in porn dictate how they think a BDSM scene should go. I’d much rather tie someone up, pierce and electrify them, than watch a pathetic jerk-off show.

Sexologist & Kink Educator

This year, I hope we can all learn how to take too long breaths, so that we might engage one another with more civility, grace, and benefit of the doubt. I’d particularly like to see this online, because virtual resources and online communities are great, especially for those in remote areas or who want to learn about kink on their own and at their own pace, but we all know the ugly sides of FetLife, KinkTok, etc.: Strong emotions can flare up quickly and, while when we’re face-to-face with another human being most of us can and downgrade those heated reactions, when we’re facing a screen spewing out that hot gut reaction feels somehow “good.” (Most of us know that it’s not actually good—but we fall for the allure of that feeling anyway.) 

Communication is difficult. We’re often misunderstood. We often fail to explain ourselves. And we often forget to think of the impacts and outcomes of our attempts at communicating. So when we encounter something that pushes that deliciously toxic “outrage” button in us—when we feel that heat rise and our body react to it in a flash—we need to get in a habit of taking two breaths. I hope we can be kinder to each other, so that we can enjoy the good sort of being mean and nasty.

I also hope that this year we can all learn more about the history of kink and BDSM, and the heroes of our recent past, because a lot happened just before the internet boom that set the ground for how we practice kink—and for privileges that it’s so easy to take for granted today. These things get forgotten, like the fact that the phrase “safe, sane, and consensual” was developed in the 1980s by gay and lesbian Leather folk as a political slogan to take up space against the respectability politics prevalent in certain sectors of the gay rights movement. There’s so much about the history of kink that I don’t know as well… but you get the idea.

Kink Educator & Host of Kinkology Podcast 

I hope that more old-guard kinksters will take a significantly larger and more proactive role in teaching and mentoring people in BDSM and kink fundamentals. We’ve seen the growth of a population of what I call “50 Shades” Academy Graduates, who have misguided ideas about what it means to be kinksters, and with them, more and more incorrect information pumped into the community, (mis)informed by their lack of exposure to our long-standing rules and protocols. If we OGs don’t step up and course-correct, we’ll be failing in our duty to the community that gave us a home when it was much harder for us to find each other. Not to mention that we’ll also be missing out on an opportunity to show the mainstream world how the safety measures we have in place can foster greeted intimacy by fostering consent, open communication, and trust.

Dominatrix & Research Fellow at UCLA’s Center for Critical Internet Inquiry

I’ve been thinking for months about how, in the coming year, we can take concrete steps towards policy changes to A) make the internet less of a puritanical hellscape, and B) combat the fascism inherent in existing internet privacy laws and in the anti-porn laws that’re being proposed in legislatures at dizzying rates. Because we should be able to do what we want on the internet without being tracked by advertisers or the state. And because policy decisions that could mean life or death for a lot of people are currently being left in the hands of big, private corporations, and that really needs to be addressed. So much horrific shit has gone down on the internet this year, like the constant doxing of sex workers and queer and kink individuals, that I hope that maybe we can start finding meaningful ways of organizing to push back on all of this.  

People think it’s such a herculean task to change the way the internet works that they can’t do anything about it and just have to live with it. But think about how FOSTA-SESTA only passed into law four years ago, and it’s changed the internet dramatically. So we can change the way the internet works—it’s just that no one in power has been willing to change it for the good so far. 

People who are in a position to be able to relatively safely come out as kinky need to do so. They need to use their platforms, even if they’re just saying, “I’m kinky in XYZ ways” openly. I have a friend who’s an assistant professor at the College of William & Mary and who makes a point of speaking out in defense of kink, queer people, and sex workers and written about being kink and bisexual. In her Virginia town, being willing to say these things openly has had a really profound local effect. More people need to do that if we want to create the pressure needed for change.

Disability & Sexuality Writer and Educator

My hopes and dreams for the kink community in the new year are of inclusion. It’d be fabulous  to see communities thinking more about the myriad ways they can accommodate and provide sensual access for disabled bodies. I’d specifically like to see acknowledgments of disability and invitations to people to speak up for their needs included in welcome circle introductions. I’d like to see acknowledgment that all bodies and minds need support in being able to participate in various activities. And I’d like to see these types of inclusion normalized within the community. 

In the last year of reopening and rebuilding, curating art and performance spaces and cultivating and supporting all the incredible talent in the kink community was my biggest passion. In 2023, I want to continue creating supportive environments for performers. Because nurturing the talent of our artists creates a vibrant, thriving community that inspires and enriches us all. But there are not a lot of performance-focused events, or folks mentoring kink performers and performances. 

Compensation is also an issue that we need to address. I often lose money on performances. This makes performance in general less accessible. We live in a capitalist society, so valuing things means paying for them.

I hope community spaces help to educate people about Explicit Prior Permissions during demos and worships. This new model code, which the American Law Institute will publish this year, replaces outdated case law that held that “consent is not a defense” for a BDSM act. That case law made a lot of what we do illegal even if it was consensual, including activities as mild as hot wax play. Now that Explicit Prior Permission is being introduced in court cases, it’s important for everyone to know the five things they need for legal consent to kink: Before you start, when you’re sound of mind, you need to agree with your partner(s) to specific kink and sex acts, and to the intensity you want. You have to agree on what kind of roleplay resistance is okay, and on safe words or signals so you can stop at any time. Even with consent, you aren’t allowed to risk seriously injuring someone. Please help celebrate consent by spreading the word about this. 

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Mark-Hay-Headshot

Mark Hay is a Brooklyn-based freelance writer who covers sex and sexuality, among other beats. You can also find his work in The Daily Beast, Mel Magazine, VICE, and many, many other outlets.

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Caning Fetish & the Surprising Reason Behind Its Popularity https://zippermagazine.com/caning-fetish-popularity-miss-ruby-marks/ https://zippermagazine.com/caning-fetish-popularity-miss-ruby-marks/#respond Thu, 01 Dec 2022 11:29:57 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=16883 Why do people enjoy the sharp sting and intimidating “woosh” of a rattan cane? Pro Domme and lifestyle fetishist, Miss Ruby Marks shares caning basics plus digs into the fascinating cultural psychology behind this fetish.

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Caning Fetish & the Surprising Reason Behind Its Popularity

Featuring Miss Ruby Marks

Curious about the intense sting of a rattan cane? Professional Domme and lifestyle fetishist, Miss Ruby Marks joins us to talk about her favorite kink, caning. In our latest video, she shares equipment and technique basics plus digs into the psychology behind this fetish. 

 

Why are caning fantasies so popular in the UK and Scotland? What types of people consensually submit to such an intense form of corporal punishment? Why do many crave stern discipline alongside stripes and welts from a heavy caning session? The answers to these questions are fascinating!

 

Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel too so you don’t miss more from Miss Ruby Marks. In the coming weeks, we’ll post videos featuring her thoughts on ethical sadism, the role of shame in kink, and an impact gear deep dive that caning enthusiasts will geek out on.    


Video transcript below.  

Who is Miss Ruby Marks? 

Miss Ruby Marks is an imaginative sadist specializing in creating female-led content from start to finish, featuring lesbian domination, pain play, real punishment clips, and creative fetish-inspired Femdom and humiliation content. Also, a kinky overthinker who loves to delve deep into the philosophy of sex and desire over a nice cup of tea.

Miss_Ruby_Marks

Where to Find Miss Ruby Marks

Twitter @MissRubyMarks

Miss Ruby Marks Clips4Sale Studio (NSFW)

Miss Ruby Marks: I’m a super empath, which is weird for a sadist. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact I’m a sadist. Actually, that was my own journey in that it’s not usual, is it, to want to hurt people?

 

Obviously, I’m not a sadist in that I want to hurt people who don’t want to be hurt. It has to be consensual for me.

 

[Intro music]

 

My name is Miss Ruby Marks. I’m a huge fan of corporal punishment — giving. My specialty is definitely caning. Caning is corporal punishment with an implement that is a cane. It’s a rattan cane.

 

If anybody is aware of the English education system, there is a long, long history of [caning] within our education system. And that has given rise, whether people want to admit it or not, to a long-term fetish for many people. And fascinatingly, [that includes] those that it was done to, those it wasn’t done to, those who saw it but never had it happen to them. And now a whole load of people who never had it happen to them, but kind of wish it had happened to them.

 

Let’s start with the basics. So a standard cane in the English school system would be the Kooboo. Kooboos are lighter, slightly less dense, and slightly more slack. So this is a Kooboo. Within the canes you have different sizes; you have junior, senior, reformatory, and prison. My go-to would be a senior Kooboo. That’s what I would always start with and then a senior dragon. The dragon cane is weightier. So it’s more heart, it’s more extreme. And I start with that size because that is slightly thuddier. 

 

The thinner the cane, the stingier the feel. Many people don’t like the stingy, stingy, stingy. You’re more likely to get a person saying they want thuddy pain. This is a golden prison cane. It’s half-smoked, which makes it slightly less flexible and harder to take. But this is what was used in the English school system. You’d be hit with most likely a junior or senior Kooboo cane. And they make that swish. Same with the dragon one, which is a big aspect of what people want: that swish, that sound, which would be [swishes cane] that sound. 

 

That’s what people want to hear. I love it because it makes people really jump when they’re nervous anyway and they’re bent over. You do that sound and they flinch and I’m mean, I’m awful. I do that. My sub just tried to ban me from swishing! She jokingly tries to ban me all the time from doing things that she’d be kind of sad if I actually banned them. But the swish, the swish swoosh is something they’ve tried to ban. 

 

We’ve got a lot of influence that comes over from the prison systems in Asia. So the Singapore prison cane, and these are used in the actual prisons in Asia. And the people import them into the UK from that area. They are brutal. It’s only really the very extreme masochist that can take such an implement, and you shouldn’t wield it without skill and knowledge. You just shouldn’t. You know, one hit to the tailbone and you could permanently damage somebody. So caning is not to be trifled with. And if you want to start caning, you have to be aware of your own lack of, or skill level, and just start really light and small and build up as a skill and only cane people who are seasoned canees themselves. Never cane a newbie as a newbie. 

 

I was having kinky thoughts from an interestingly young age. And that gave me a really lifelong interest in how those things develop, when they develop, and our misunderstanding of those things. And then that in itself has given me a lifelong interest in the psychology, the background, the sociology, how those things develop anthropologically, culturally, all of those things. It’s what I’m interested in studying and that’s where that has come because of how early — and also in talking to everybody else. All my clients and subs and anyone else, it is the same story really. People become aware of these things from a really young age and then we just don’t know what to do with them. 

 

In terms of what draws people to caning, as with anything within kink, I think it’s really complex and interesting. I think the English school system has an enormous amount to answer to. And doing something to somebody in that period of pre-puberty and puberty, in my opinion, gives rise to our sexual preferences. It tends to be things that happened to people either by accident or by them seeking something out around that age, that tend to have these huge, huge impacts on their sexual preferences as an adult. And so obviously, if you are dragged in front of the class — humiliated and caned by a female teacher or a male teacher and there’s all those notions of authority — then that’s going to feed into this world of submission, dominance, control, humiliation, pain, all of those things. So I think that’s an enormous part of it. 

 

I have found with caning, and particularly the men — and the women, but there are differences. But particularly with the men, it’s a badge of honor. There does seem to be a certain sense of pride. They also seem to have a certain personality, they’re pedantic, they’re perfectionists, they are slightly nerdy. They will always point out if you get it wrong! They are really pedantic in a way that is very specific. Over and over again, I see the same personality traits. So I think there’s also something in terms of the personality and the characteristics of the person coming for the caning interestingly, which I don’t think everybody realizes. There’s a sense of pride in them being able to take it. It’s one of the harshest things to submit to. It’s one of the scariest things to submit to. 

 

So in terms of getting there, removing your clothing, bending over, and submitting to someone like me, who projects purposefully, an image of fear. You know, I project myself as a really scary person purposefully. I like that, I like that boundary and that barrier. But to actually bring yourself to come to that person voluntarily and bend over, I think there’s a sense of pride in that for a lot of people in “I can take the cane.” 

 

Probably the biggest thing, though, is they need it. It’s a need. It’s a genuine, physical, psychological need that has been born out of what was done to them against their will, without their consent, as a child or a teenager. They are drawn to it, there’s a pull. It’s usually something that somebody has thought about for a long time, and it’s in them and they need it. If they don’t have it, it negatively impacts their mental health and their life for sure. That’s what I see time and time again, and finding somebody to meet that need for them and navigating — maybe a relationship where the person doesn’t know that they need that and would be shocked and horrified at their partner wanting to go submit those things. Or misunderstanding it. They navigate these really complex surrounding issues on a regular basis in order to meet that need. And if they weren’t able to meet that need, their mental health would be poor for it. So I think they also get good mental health out of it.

 

Caning — there is a precision and skill to it. That really appealed to me when I first started doing it, which was only about six years ago, actually. I like the accuracy of it. I like the fact it is a definite skill. I like the implements. I like the sounds.  And there’s something really satisfying that I get out of caning when I hit someone and I get all these lines in a nice neat little row. It looks very beautiful to me and it also seems to meet a need in me in a way that, say, whipping someone doesn’t. I can’t stand it. I hate the mess of the whip. I hate the fact it flies off where you don’t want it to occasionally and you can’t help that. I love the cane for the reason that I can make it perfect. I’m a perfectionist and a control freak within myself as well. So caning kind of meets that need. 

 

My understanding is the US is more focused on over-the-knee and spanking which is also my understanding that that would make sense given what goes on in the home. I understand that that actually is still widely practiced within the home. And spankings, and whoopings, and these kinds of words. It feels weird saying that as an English person! Like, “You’re gonna whoop someone’s ass.” But I think these are . . . so again, it just feeds into my belief that what’s done to us in our childhood and done to us in our teenagers massively impacts what we’re into sexually as grownups. 

 

I am dealing with the fallout from that to this day. And that is men usually wanting to come in to be caned because it was done to them. That’s where a lot of my business lies — and also in helping them come to terms with it. “Why do I like it? Why do I want it? Am I weird? Am I strange? Is this right?” You know, and they’re battling with these demons inside them because of what was done to them. And then that’s influenced them in a way that they’re struggling to come to terms with — as well as having a wife and a normal life. And they’ve got this dark secret as they see it. And I deal with all of that. So I think the school system in the UK has so much to answer for and we’re dealing with the fallout as disciplinarians and kink specialists or Dominatrixes. That’s all we’re doing really: dealing with that for people.

 

I find there can be a deep belief in them that they’re unlovable, that they don’t deserve to be cared for. That they’ll never be normal. There’s usually a string of failed relationships in the past, and what I get out of it is, I do truly believe that I help people to think about things in a really specific way. I studied philosophy and ethics. Sure makes some people laugh, I’m a highly unethical person in some people’s eyes. But that’s what I studied – and psychology, sociology, and social anthropology. That is my background for years. 

 

I mean, I have deeply, deeply thought about these things to a high academic level, and it fascinates me. I am obsessed with learning everything about people and how we operate, why we operate, and all of those things. And helping people. I think a lot of people would be completely lost in their life if they didn’t have us to come to talk to and to look after them. And I think that’s mostly what I get out of it. I think I improve the lives of those that are with me. I give them a place to feel at home and okay with themselves. And that’s really important to me. 

 

I think the misconception is [kink is] this teeny fringe thing. My understanding is it really isn’t. I think it’s much larger than most vanilla persons, you know, the average person — there are people out there that do not have kinks, have never thought about searching for something, have never watched kinky porn. And they do have mainstream sex. Let’s say there are people out there, but I think they’re in the minority. And I wish we could put that one to bed. I just think that it’s much bigger than most people realize — fetishes and kinks. I don’t think it’s as fringe as people would like to say it is. We’re not the 0.02%, the weirdos. We’re just not. I think we’re the 60 to 70% of what’s going on out there. It’s just how deep into it you are, you know, that going to say how big that scene is. But my experience is, world over I think there’s far more people into it than people realize. Yeah.

 

This has been my interview with Zipper Magazine. I’m really proud that you’ve asked me to speak to you. And it’s been a wonderful experience. And I can’t wait to see what Zipper Magazine is going to do. It’s amazing to have such a friendly voice within the industry. It’s severely lacking for us to be able to express ourselves. So thank you so much and I can’t wait to see what you do next.

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What’s The Fuss About #NoNutNovember?

Sunny Megatron unpacks No Nut November’s sex-negative undercurrents and reframes it as what it really is for many — a kink. With a little intention, you can partake in the fun of the #NoNutNovember challenge without unknowingly endorsing the anti-sex, anti-porn, purity culture baggage attached to it.

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Evie Lupine’s BDSM Holiday Gift Guide https://zippermagazine.com/evie-lupine-bdsm-holiday-gift-guide/ https://zippermagazine.com/evie-lupine-bdsm-holiday-gift-guide/#respond Mon, 21 Nov 2022 09:12:51 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=16400 Searching for the perfect kink-themed gift for a friend, play partner, or sweetheart? Evie Lupine has you covered with her 2022 BDSM Holiday Gift Guide. Organized by kink role, there’s plenty for the sadomasochist, service submissive, pet player, little, bondage enthusiast, Daddy, kinky geek (and more!) in your life.

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Evie Lupine’s BDSM Holiday Gift Guide

By Evie Lupine

With the Holiday season just around the corner, it’s time to start shopping for all of the kinky folks on your gift list. But what should you get? It can be hard to choose amongst a sea of beginner’s kits and novelty toys. If you want to find the perfect present for your friend, play partner, or sweetheart that they will love (and actually use!) just keep reading…

Holiday Gifts for BDSM Newbies

 

Maybe you have someone in your life who’s brand new to BDSM and doesn’t know where to start. While an introductory toy set would be the common choice here, I would actually recommend starting with the kinky card decks from Kink Academy. Their Ready, Kink, Go! set is focused around negotiation and includes important questions like, “What are your hard limits?” and “What does it look like when you’re having a good time?” Used properly, the deck can help set the stage for a positive first scene, leaving no important detail undiscussed. 

 

The Kinky Talk set features 52 cards of broad-ranging kinky questions that cover everything from the personal to the humorous and amusing. This is a great icebreaker game for parties as well as a tool for getting to know new partners — or even yourself!

Gifts for Littles:

 

Littles can be some of the most delightful kinksters to shop for during the holiday season. Getting a little just the right present can make them light up like a Christmas tree, and it’s hard to go wrong with a high-quality onesie. Onesies Down Under not only has a rotating selection of custom-made prints, they also have adorable tutus, pajamas, bloomers and tops if onesies aren’t your little’s thing.

 

For littles that like to mix in other elements of BDSM with their roleplay, an adjustable pink spreader bar like the one made by Stockroom might be an unexpected but delightful gift. (cuffs not included)

Pink Adjustable Spreader Bar from stockroom.com 

Gifts for Pet Players:

 

Don’t leave your favorite pet out of the holiday gift-giving! And no, I don’t mean your actual dog or cat, but the adorable human pets so many of us know in the kink community. One of my favorite gifts I’ve gotten during my time in the lifestyle is a custom-engraved food bowl one of my partners purchased for me. Of course, he had to go to the mall and pretend it was for an actual animal, but luckily we have more options these days. Like this glittery personalized bowl from Etsy with twelve color choices. 

 

A collar can mean many different things depending on the person, relationship, or kink. For some, it’s a sign of a committed relationship. For others, it’s simply a practical bondage device or it can be a tool that helps enhance the wearer’s roleplay headspace. If your pet fits into that last category, I might suggest this custom-engraved luxury velvet pet collar. Not only is it stylish, it’s also comfortable and easily adjusted to fit a variety of neck sizes.

Service submissives

 

Fun fact: did you know that one of the possible origins of the term “Boxing Day” is the tradition of British aristocracy giving their servants the 26th of December off, and providing them with a “Christmas Box” gift? So why not continue that tradition for your service submissive? They spend so much of the year giving to others and don’t often get a chance to receive themselves. These spiky coasters are a unique yet discreet present sure to provide a little extra stimulation whenever they’re fetching coffee or mixing drinks.

Spikey Service Coasters from TorridTimber on Etsy

Daddies & Mommies:

While a homemade gift for a Daddy or Mommy is always my first suggestion, some of us are not so artistically or craft inclined. Avoid making a glitter bomb go off in your kitchen while attempting to make a popsicle-stick picture frame, and get something premade. For caregiver Dominants that love discipline, punishment, and restraint, I suggest this leather hobble belt. It can be worn as a real belt, but also is designed to work as a set of cuffs, an armbinder, and even an impact play toy. Score!

For caregivers that prefer a little rest and relaxation, how about these pink Himalayan bath salts? (The glitter will thankfully be contained within the bathtub!) Or maybe this aromatic massage candle? This candle can be used on its own by yourself as a warming winter moisturizer or could be easily incorporated into a service-centered sensual massage scene.

Leather Hobble Belt from Stockroom.com

Doms & subs

 

What do you get for the power exchange couple that has it all? Well, I have a few ideas: A posture collar is great for so many scenarios, including helping to keep a submissive headspace during daily service around the house or adding an extra layer of discipline during high-protocol evenings. If the power exchange is less scene-focused and more protocol- and ritual-focused, I would suggest something like this meditation bench. It’s completely vanilla and foldable for easy storage, but is a great device to assist with posture and long kneeling periods. Your favorite submissive — and their knees — will thank you.

 Posture Collar with Buckle Closure from BitchesLoveLeather on Etsy

 Posture Collar with Buckle Closure from BitchesLoveLeather on Etsy

Kinky Geeks

 

Let’s be honest: the overlap between nerd culture and kink culture is pretty freakin’ big. Go to any munch and you’re sure to see at least one person wearing a geeky t-shirt or a backpack laden with pins and buttons from their favorite fandom. If this matches the description of someone on your shopping list, might I suggest the KinkLab Neon Wand? This electro-play staple is able to create sensations from mild to wild, and comes with multiple different attachments to give even further scene options. The purple or red electrical arcs the device generates (depending on the model) are not only a dungeon favorite, but also bring to mind old-school sci-fi movies. And who wouldn’t want to control electricity like some kind of superhero? (Or supervillain, depending on the scene.)

KinkLab Neon Wand from Stockroom.com

Sadomasochists:

 

If someone in your life is really into pain — or just wants to explore it more — there’s nothing better than a high-quality paddle. And I would wager the creations over at Miss Rose Paddles are some of the best in the business. From compact hairbrush paddles ideal for intimate spaces to massive “thorn” paddles for heavy players, there is sure to be something in the shop for every budget and every shade of kink.

Purpleheart Thorn Paddle from MissRosePaddles on Etsy

Bondage Lovers:

 

When it comes to bondage, it can be difficult to find something truly unique. There’s all the same gags, the same blindfolds, made from more or less the same materials and similar patterns anywhere you go shopping for BDSM goodies. But I’ve found something truly special for the bondage lovers out there that I’ve never seen anywhere else: the one-way magic blindfold! I’ve had this in my personal kit for years and it’s great for scenes where you want the wearer to be able to see a little of the action while still limiting their sight. The convex design doesn’t press into your eyelids, either, which makes it comfortable for long wear and avoids inducing a sense of claustrophobia.

Education Nerds:

 

Some of us just love to learn. Toys and stuff are great, but how about tools to further our kink journey mentally and emotionally instead? If that sounds like you or the loved one you’re shopping for this season, I highly recommend the guides over at Dom sub Living. Their training and workshops can give you tools on either side of the slash to help with your power exchange journey. As a special bonus, for Black Friday through Cyber Monday, they will also be offering a limited-time Mentoring Bundle for just $99. This bundle includes 10 video recordings and 2 coaching days. (It also helps support my work! Both Dom sub Living links are affiliate codes, and I make a small commission from your purchase.)

BDSM Workshop, Training & Mentoring Bundles from Dom sub Living

"What do you get for the power exchange couple that has it all?"

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Evie Lupine

Evie Lupine is an asexual kink educator and YouTuber who first began her journey into the lifestyle about 7 years ago. In that time, she’s been a 24/7 collared submissive, a petplayer, a bondage freak, and an occasional sadist. Her passion for learning as well as her diverse interests within kink naturally led her in the direction of helping others with their own discovery processes. She focuses on supporting folks developing happier, healthier relationships while separating the fantasy from the reality of doing BDSM every day.


 You can find Evie on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Patreon.

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Evie Lupine talks SPH

Evie Lupine dives into a comprehensive look at both the psychological aspects of SPH and its practical application, including beginner and advanced play suggestions. Whether you’re curious about integrating SPH into your dynamic or just seeking to understand more about this aspect of kink, this video offers valuable insights and advice.

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Giantess Fetish with Giantess Katelyn Brooks https://zippermagazine.com/giantess-katelyn-brooks/ https://zippermagazine.com/giantess-katelyn-brooks/#respond Mon, 14 Nov 2022 09:41:09 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=16211 Giantess fetish has never been more popular. Across the internet, more & more (mostly) men are diving into this once obscure kink. What’s the appeal of being a tiny, bite-sized man at the whim of a powerful, giant woman? Giantess Katelyn Brooks tells us why she and so many of her fans enjoy these fantasies of control & capture.

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Giantess Fetish with Giantess Katelyn Brooks

By Zipper Magazine Staff

Giant women have left their oversized footsteps in human culture ever since we started making up stories around the fire. Whether the ferocity of Grendel’s mother in Beowulf, the courage of the Amazons in Greek mythology, the trash classic Attack of the 50-Foot Woman, or the four-color adventures of She-Hulk, Giganta, or Titania in superhero comics, there’s something irresistible about large, powerful women. And of course, they’re just as irresistible as subjects for fetish porn. 

 

More discreetly called “macrophilia,” giantess fetish is a fascination with or sexual attraction to giants. In popular culture, this kink is most often played out as a predator/prey D/s scenario involving a helpless, micro-sized man at the whim of a larger-than-life giantess. Fantasies typically revolve around being controlled, captured, crushed, or exploring the giant’s body. Giantess fetish also goes hand-in-hand with vore as many bite-sized macrophiles also eroticize being eaten. In fact, it evolved into its own content genre – “giantess vore.” 

 

This is a more common fetish than one may think thanks largely to the internet. Giantess fetish videos, forums, and erotica have flourished online — and there’s still more yet to be unveiled. We sat down to talk with Katelyn Brooks, a noted giantess, vore fetish enthusiast, and content creator, about the many delights of big women with tiny men — and the virtues of eating him, crushing him, or simply demanding worship. 

 

Zipper Magazine: What is giantess fetish and how did you get into it?

 

Katelyn Brooks: It’s a sexual attraction to a woman who has supreme power and control via a larger-than-life size difference compared to her subject(s). She could tower over the Amazonians from Greek legend, a city, a state, the planet. Her size is purely fantasy.

 

The most popular size difference in the community is where her subjects are about ½” to 3” in comparison. Fetishists commonly fantasize about ultimately being sacrificed for her enjoyment, often by getting swallowed (Vore) or squashed beneath her bare soles (Crush).

 

There are many more desires within the community, including those who like gentle Giantesses, and there are many other fetish content types aside from videos, including collages, drawings, comics, CGI, photos, written stories, audio, RP, etc.

 

ZM: What’s your favorite thing about this kink?

 

KB: I love the supreme power the Giantess has; it’s incredibly empowering. While I’m attracted to countless scenarios within the scope of the Giantess fetish as a whole, the one that gets me the hottest is Vore. There are many ways it could play out — but regardless, to swallow shrunken people for my own pleasure makes my panties wet just thinking about it.

 

ZM: Why do you think people enjoy fantasizing about being a tiny person and why do you think giantess kink has become so popular?

 

KB: For those who have a Giantess fetish as part of their core sexuality, “nurture” may play the biggest role. That is, it’s a result of the parenting style experienced while sexuality was developing as well as later life experiences. Genetics could also have a role. 

 

Also the sheer amount of fetish content nowadays — everything from production to consumption has played a big part in the exposure and growth of the Giantess Fetish as well.

 

For example, it’s easy for someone with a more common interest — mouths, feet, burping, femdom, etc. — to come across a Giantess fetish video because a scenario can include any one of those. Also since so many models and studios do customs, it really gets around that way too, I imagine just like many other fetishes have as well.

ZM: If you could choose between growing into a giantess or shrinking people down, which would it be?

 

KB: I’d choose to shrink fans so we could live out our fantasies together. I reserve true Giantess for pure fantasy. I wouldn’t have the heart to destroy civilization in a horny villainous rampage like in some of my fantasies! However, I wouldn’t be able to pass up a harmless holodeck program where I could live them out. In a private suite of course!

 

As for shrinking fans, I find myself longing to do so on a constant everyday basis. According to one of my tweets, there are over 500 that want me to shrink them down for real, and I believe that a lot of them would do it. It is empowering to know there are real men out there who want to shrink down and sacrifice it all to actualize our deepest desires.

 

ZM: What other kinks do you like to weave into your giantess scenes? 

 

KB: So many! Humiliation, bondage, female supremacy, burping, mouth fetish, bare feet, growth, shrinking the viewer in stages, cuckolding, chastity, and facesitting to name just a few. 

 

I even filmed throughout a full-term pregnancy up to the day I went into labor; I loved how Vore fetishists loved seeing my big preggy belly imagining it was them or someone else inside. It worked out perfectly and I look forward to doing that again someday. 

 

I also like to play different characters like schoolgirl, goddess, boss, witch, girlfriend, step-sister, you name it. The variety of interests I’ve worked with has brought me through a wonderful exploration of my own sexuality as well. I really enjoy it!

"I love the supreme power the Giantess has; it’s incredibly empowering."

ZM: Other than creative camera angles, do you use other props or tricks to make viewers feel small? How much of this fantasy is mental & relies on the imagination?

 

KB: Tiny figures are commonly used to portray whoever or whatever is at the Giantess’ mercy in the scenario. I find it fun and hot to roleplay with them and the viewer imagines that whatever’s going on is actually happening, even though it’s a prop. 

 

Once in a while, I’ll stand on a hidden stool that’s out of the frame to make the viewer feel small on the floor looking up at me out of the camera’s pov. I’m also selective with which camera and lens I use, as well as surrounding objects and how I pose my body to the camera.

 

ZM: Of all the giantess clip requests you’ve had, what was the most memorable? 

 

KB: It’s too hard to choose just one — there are dozens! Everything from when I was pregnant for sure, such a special time. I also especially loved adding my creativity to several customs over recent years that were scripted exceptionally well. I love knowing exactly what all a fan wants to see me do and hear me say, and then fueling from that to get into character for my performance and personal indulgence. I also have many fans who come back again and again for customs which at a point makes them and their clips memorable to me as well – some have even been ordering from me since I began in 2006!

 

ZM: What tips do you have for people curious about trying giantess play? What about bringing up interest in giantess kink to a partner? 

 

KB: I would start by grabbing some videos that both look hot from the GIF preview and sound hot from the description. Use those to start exploring and figuring out what you like. There’s tons of free collages, stories, artwork, etc online too. It’ll also help to read through some of my old blog posts as well if you’re super new to your Giantess fetish.

 

For those more experienced with it and regarding bringing it up to partners, IMO:

 

If you’re dating around — look for someone who is open-minded, likes learning, and enjoys experiencing new things. You want to find someone who’s going to accept you for who you are, so bring it up when you feel it’s appropriate to do so. (Some may want to mention it on the first date as to not waste time – others after several to feel it out and see if they even like the girl first) Go deeper into it over time as you learn more about each other.

 

If it’s a lover that you want to open up to after years — if she’s open-minded and familiar with fetishes then you could open up by saying you’ve been shy to tell her or perhaps it’s an old fantasy that’s come back and you want to enjoy it with her. Start by explaining your liking for size difference and if she reacts well, go a little deeper, and ping off anything she finds interesting.

 

Go into more as she becomes comfortable and used to your fetish.

 

If she isn’t familiar with fetishes then take baby steps. For example, you can start by treating her to her favorite footwear (if you like crush) or lip product (if you like Vore) and use compliments to tie in your attraction to that part of her body. The next time you’re in the bedroom, mention how she is your Goddess and that you want to worship every part of her while rubbing or kissing her all over. Dip into powerplay where she is in control. Find out what she likes and mix your desires with hers. Teach her what a fetish is. Give ample time for her to learn and understand the fetish as she gets to explore it with you!

 

ZM: What advice would you give to someone who believes their kinky fantasies are weird or shameful?

 

KB: Sexuality, porn, and fetishes were once very taboo and thankfully we’re now coming out of that era (especially online and within the fetish industry). Nowadays millions of fetishists have come out online, in magazines, shows, through social media, to their partners, at conventions, etc.

 

There are ever-growing fetish communities and with that, an amazing variety of fetish content has flourished. An industry has even become of it where professionals, models, artists, and like-minded fetishists want to produce content for you to enjoy! You’re not alone, don’t feel weird or shameful. It’s truly a wonderful time to be living in to embrace and explore your unique sexuality.

 

Let it add some spice to your life!

 

ZM: What has being a fetish creator taught you about other people’s desires & sexual psychology?

 

KB: Everyone has their own tastes and preferences on the finer details of what they like within the genera of their fetish(es)/kinks. One can have multiple desires, those of which could vary in prominence and frequency. For example, it could be the core of one’s sexuality whereas straight-up vanilla acts (sex, oral) may not be a turn-on for them at all. They may need to have their fetish involved in one way or another (think about it, look at material, partake in it) to become aroused and reach climax. Or one could simply have a kink that they perhaps only crave once in a blue moon, or use to add extra excitement to their sex life, and vanilla play could still turn them on in the same manner as someone who doesn’t have any kinks.

 

Also, it’s totally possible that one may not even realize that they have a fetish or like any kinks until they find it. Or they could end up getting into one through their personal life experiences to come. Everyone’s sexuality is really unique.

More about Giantess Katelyn

 

I’ve been a giantess fetish content creator for 16 years and going strong! I turn my wet fantasies into high-quality videos and occasionally open for customs. I enjoy scripting, acting, filming, editing, and I manage everything myself. I strive to produce top-quality content utilizing modern gear along with my wild imagination and expertise. I love my fetish, my fans, my business, and I’m here to stay!

 

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What’s The Fuss About #NoNutNovember? https://zippermagazine.com/whats-the-fuss-about-no-nut-november/ https://zippermagazine.com/whats-the-fuss-about-no-nut-november/#respond Mon, 07 Nov 2022 11:47:29 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=15835 Sunny Megatron unpacks No Nut November’s sex-negative undercurrents and reframes it as what it really is for many — a kink. With a little intention, you can partake in the fun of the #NoNutNovember challenge without unknowingly endorsing the anti-sex, anti-porn, purity culture baggage attached to it.

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What’s The Fuss About #NoNutNovember?

By Sunny Megatron

The #NoNutNovember challenge is well underway. Thousands of people (mostly cis men) across the internet have undertaken the ultimate display of willpower and restraint — remaining ejaculation free for 30 days.

 

There’s nothing wrong with abstaining from masturbation or sex for a month. In fact, BDSM enthusiasts are accustomed to it. Popular kinks like chastity, tease & denial, orgasm control, and edging rely on the bittersweet anticipation that goes hand in hand with delayed, denied, or ruined orgasm.  

 

For kinksters, No Nut November is a welcome excuse to indulge in the kinks we love. Some even consider it “Locktober Part 2.” Many adventurous vanilla folks enjoy it for the kinky aspect too — whether they consciously realize it or not. Others use this fap-fast as a “sexual reset” of sorts hoping to give their sexual arousal and sensitivity levels a boost. 

 

Despite its upsides, No Nut November has some damaging downsides that many eager no-nutters are unaware of. The “No Fap” movement is rooted in purity culture, far-right politics, anti-porn efforts, pseudoscience, and more. 

 

In this video, I unpack No Nut November’s sex-negative ties and introduce ways you can reframe it as what it really is for most of us — a kink. With a little intention, you can still partake in the fun of this horny hiatus without inadvertently endorsing the anti-sex baggage attached to it.   

 

Also, be sure to check out Aiden Starr’s #NoNutNovember message on behalf of the Chastity Dommes of Clips4Sale and their #NoNutNovember Survival Guide.

Video transcript below.  

What’s The Fuss About #NoNutNovember?” Video Transcript 

 

It’s November y’all and you better get cracking because you have a lot to do. You have to write an entire book — it’s NaNoWriMo. Also, make sure you go scruffy because it’s #NoShaveNovember. But the most important of all, muster up all of your willpower to refrain from … shaking hands with the milkman. Celebrating Palm Sunday? Choking the chicken? Masturbating! Yes, it is #NoNutNovember and that means 30 days of absolutely no self-pleasure. 

 

I’m Sunny Megatron, Kink and Certified Sexuality Educator and Editor-in-Chief of the BDSM-focused Zipper Magazine. And we need to talk about No Nut November. 

 

I know it sounds fun — 30 days of putting your willpower to the test doing a challenge with everyone else on the internet. But I’m sorry to burst your um, bubbles — but every last bit of No Nut November is a bunch of BS. 

 

If you’re one of my people (shout out to the kinksters) you might be saying, “but wait a minute, didn’t we just finish Locktober? An entire month of restraint and chastity? Yeah. “Isn’t that the same?” No. 

 

Yes, it is true that both Locktober and No Nut November are about not making knuckle sandwiches with extra mayonnaise. But while the climax avoidance of Locktober is full of good-spiritedness and play, No Nut November is steeped in sexual shame. 

 

Shame, you say? “Oh no, giving myself a hand has gotten so out of hand! I feel so humiliated! I think I need to be punished!” 

 

No, no, no, no, no, I’m not talking about the kind of consensually roleplayed shame that we enjoy in kink. No, No Nut November isn’t the quirky internet challenge version of Locktober. It isn’t a “training wheels kind of way” for vanilla folks to explore chastity kink, and it’s not a strategy for couples to put the spark back in their relationship by making their hearts, and parts, grow fonder with absence … and abstinence. And it’s definitely not a movement to raise awareness about peanut allergies. The fact is, No Nut November has some dark, damaging, and dangerous associations that you need to know. 

 

No Nut November is a byproduct of the #NoFap movement, it started in about 2011 on Reddit and spread to places like 4chan. And what kicked it off was a study that said testosterone gets higher with abstinence. That testosterone notion and a bunch of other weird health claims got meshed with the idea that pornography is bad and so is giving into temptation. And that by refraining from self-entertaining, these penis-havers (and a few lucky vulva-havers that can hang) could rid themselves of the evils of pornography addiction. And as a bonus, they’d become more masculine, more attractive, have more self-control, and ultimately become more alpha. 

 

That testosterone study has been retracted and it turns out a lot of the other health claims that these November no-nutters use as talking points — not true either. I’m gonna link a video somewhere by Dr. Rena Malik, debunking the claims that refraining from de-spunking is the healthier option. Plus, there are countless studies, dare I say loads that support the health benefits of masturbation and doing it often. 

 

And the porn addiction thing? The American Psychological Association says that’s not a diagnosis. And they conclude that actually quite often it’s social, cultural, or religious influences that lead people to believe that their very normal desires, fantasies, and curiosities are an evil addiction. 

 

And I’m just gonna cut to the chase — No Nut November has been co-opted by the far right. Underneath the surface, No Nut November’s messaging is anti-porn, anti-sexual freedom, misogynistic, conservative, purity culture, ultra-religious propaganda wrapped up in memorable hashtags, funny memes, and the appeal of a social media challenge that makes you feel like you’re a part of something big, a community! 

 

I’m gonna put more links about all that stuff in the description. But there’s something I got to get to. If all that dropped on you like a ton of bricks and you’re like, “womp womp — I kind of like No Nut November. I don’t know why, I just find it kind of fun and exciting.” Don’t worry, I got you! 

 

Those of us in the BDSM community call what you’re feeling a kink. And that kink is chastity play. And also don’t forget its very close cousins, edging and orgasm control. In fact, the kink community just had its chastity month. It’s called Locktober. So I’m proposing instead of endorsing all of the questionable stuff that’s packaged along with the fun of No Nut November, why don’t y’all come on over to the kink side? Let’s extend Locktober another month! 

 

So what is chastity? On the surface, it does sort of seem like what we do with No Nut November. The subject of traditional chastity is usually someone with external genitalia. But don’t worry, they’re not the only ones that get to indulge in the fun. But those that do oftentimes wear one of these, a chastity device to keep all that stuff locked up with a little lock and key. Isn’t it cute?

 

For partnered chastity subs, they’ll give the key to their partner and they’ll both engage in some Dominant/submissive play and exchange, and tease and denial throughout the month, or week, or however long they’re doing their chastity session for. Some engage in chastity solo. There’s all sorts of tips and tricks that you can use to have all the fun with yourself. There’s even apps you can use, all sorts of things. Other solo chastity subs sometimes choose to meet people online and engage in long-distance chastity play using all sorts of technology, video software, and lots of delicious things. 

 

So now are you like, “wait a minute, so chastity and Locktober is just like No Nut November, but you have to buy gear?! No. 

 

In kink, we are “consensually and intentionally perverting social norms and hierarchies for our pleasure.” Kinks like chastity are a form of play. Think of it as a game. And in that game, there might be humiliation or activities and behaviors that from the outside, look oppressive. 

 

“You’re so bad! You’re such a loser! I can’t trust you because you’re always distracted by your selfish, self-indulgent, touching yourself, yuck!” That’s just an example. But it can take on many flavors. But even if that feels real at the time that it’s going on, it’s not real. It’s really an elaborate roleplay that you’ve negotiated ahead of time that you’ve set limits for parameters for. You’ve told your partner what your desires are, and worked together to create that fantasy experience. 

 

With No Nut November, it’s real. You are really putting down those who act on their very normal and healthy sexual desires. You’re really actually saying that you believe adult entertainment is the root of all evil, and you’re really supporting organizations and movements that have visions of fascism dancing in their heads. No Nut November isn’t a kink. It isn’t a roleplay. It isn’t an improvisational fantasy storyline that you’re living out for fun. That’s the difference. 

 

So what’s the appeal of chastity? So much! And it’s different for everyone. I’ll give you a couple of the common ones. 

 

Anticipation: Now think about the important role that anticipation plays in your life. Anticipating that something good and significant is about to happen is joy juice for our brains. It might be anticipating that last piece of delicious cheesecake that you saved. It could be waiting all season to see the finale of your favorite show. It might be watching Dr. Pimple Popper trying to get that … you know — you hate it, but you gotta see it! You’re like “come on” and you’re like, “yes!” You know … you know. Or it might be climax. 

 

When we prolong getting to the resolution of that built-up anticipation, sometimes gives us like, kind of a mental sadomasochistic high. Neurotransmitters and stuff. That giddy euphoric feeling of anticipation, even when it’s mixed with frustration in a playful, consensual way, can feel really good, especially over a long period of time. 

 

Like if you’re wearing chastity for a week, a month, longer, it serves as a distraction and infuses some dopamine and enjoyment in your otherwise mundane day-to-day. And anticipating this positive event, everything becomes heightened — and when it’s something sexual and that becomes heightened? Hello! 

 

Another reason: flipping the normative power script. Even though anybody can be a chastity sub, or a keyholder, or dominant in this situation no matter of their gender or anything else — when we’re talking more traditional chastity and keyholding, we often see that with heterosexual couples, where the man is the person who is the chastity sub, and the woman is the one who holds the key and calls the shots. Do you know what a rush it is to subvert traditional gender norms to challenge patriarchal ideas about sex and who controls it? Who desires it and who calls the shots, just flipping out on its head, hoo — that can be a rush for everybody involved. 

 

And wearing a chastity device: That’s like extended foreplay that you can never relieve. So it just keeps building and building. You know, you feel it all the time. It’s a constant reminder of your commitments of your partner who cares about you, of you being naughty and being punished, or whatever gets your brain going. Also, it’s your dirty little secret. You’re out at the grocery store, you’re at work, no one knows what you’re wearing under your clothes. But you do. You can feel it and it’s always on your mind. 

 

And for couples, playing with chastity can be sensual, it can get you out of that same old, same old rut. You know, put the spice back in your relationship. Because when you’re in chastity, that doesn’t mean you still can’t experience or give pleasure. You just have to be creative and do it in different ways. It expands your idea of what pleasure can be because intercourse and erections are off the table. That can remove sexual pressure and performance expectations. You don’t always have to be [rock hard]. And then you get to experiment with toys, mental arousal, physical arousal that doesn’t require ‘the thing’, all sorts of things. It gets couples not just talking about new ways to play, it forces them to do it. 

 

There’s a lot more about chastity that I can’t fit in this video. So think of this as something to whet your whistle. You know, as an introduction to pique your interest, to get your curiosity going. I want you to head on over to zippermagazine.com to read more about orgasm control, and chastity, and also D/s and other kinks. There’s a lot there. 

 

Plus, we have a resource library called Kinktopia, where if you find a particular kink or fetish that you’re really into, we’ve got all the books, we’ve got all the podcasts, all the YouTubes — all the places you can go to learn more about that thing. 

 

If you’re not cool with all of the baggage that comes along with No Nut November but you would still kind of dig a … heavy sack? I don’t know, I tried to make a baggage pun! Did that translate? I don’t know! But anyway, that’s okay. But let’s call it what it is. It’s a kink. So now you know what to do. Let’s get you into chastity!

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Do We Tell No Nut November About Locktober? https://zippermagazine.com/no-nut-november/ https://zippermagazine.com/no-nut-november/#respond Wed, 02 Nov 2022 10:11:19 +0000 https://zippermagazine.com/?p=15406 We know you’ve barely recovered from Locktober, but brace yourself. #NoNutNovember — Locktober’s weird, religious cousin — is at the door, ruining our fun with a stack of bad science and fascist internet memes.

The post Do We Tell No Nut November About Locktober? appeared first on Zipper Magazine.

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Do We Tell No Nut November About Locktober?

We know you’ve barely recovered from Locktober, but brace yourself. #NoNutNovember — Locktober’s weird, religious cousin — is at the door, ruining our fun with a stack of bad science and fascist internet memes. 

Superficially the two are quite similar. Both feature restraint from ejaculation for a month. But whereas Locktober adherents celebrate the pleasure of denial and submission, No Nut November is joyless sex shame. According to No Nut November followers, resistance to pornography and masturbation — really any ejaculation — makes you more virile, more powerful socially, and more attractive to hot women. And not just that: Better hair! Clearer skin! Success at work! 

For these true believers, No Nut November is a physical reboot, in which you cast out porn and masturbation for ever and transfer into the Alpha Male superman of yore (cue up the Wagner.)

The pseudoscientific claims have all been repeatedly debunked, but like Pumpkin Spice Latte, All I Want for Christmas, and a cold sore, they seem to come back year after year. That’s why this year, Clips4Sale put together a survival guide to No Nut November, as well as the “handy” explainer for us to help you — the innocent bystander — tell the difference. 

Thankfully, they’re joined by femdom fatale Aiden Starr, just wiping her hands of her Locktober duties, to give them an expert’s take on preventing erections. Because while we’d never dissuade anyone the exquisite denial of pleasure, we’ll fight shame with all we’ve got.

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